about this blog

I'm actually very surprised to see that some days there are like 50 people reading this blog in just one day (mostly russians for some reason).

I was writing this as a way of letting some things out, things that were inside me and needed to get out somehow, but I never actually thought somebody would read it.

and now people are reacting to it, and sometimes they email me they thoughts and comments, on one hand its great, it helps me grow, but on the other I feel so much pressure, because i think "oh, so many people read it so I should try to make some sense"

i wanted to let things go, so if things are already written here, then there's more space in my mind for new things to come up.

But I can't. I really can't. I can't inspire anyone , I can't lead anyone, i can barely take care of myself.

so don't expect much and you wont be disappointing.

i got some nice drafts, but most times i dont know what im doing. i want to try to write every day, even if its just a bit, because I figured if i write every day I'll eventually get good at it. but sometimes the internet is down, and sometimes im not at home///

I'm also confused, insecure and have many doubts, same as everyone.

Sometimes I think I've figured out some things but then I forget them.

And I'm actually surprised that there are so many russians reading this. I want to go to Russia so badly, and I think that will be my next destination for the sole fact that I've never been there and I'm curious as to how things are over there.

Russia is the mysterious land for me, specially after I read about the Dylatov pass incident, I still dont know what to make of it.

If for some reason  you feel like you want to get to know me more, just keep reading, but don't expect much because the coming posts may not make much sense to anyone but me.

Don't take everything too seriously thought, sometimes i make things up, some things need to be adapted into a story or a dialogue for them to be easier to read and understand.

and yes, thanks for reading or whatever~