so during the next week or so we'll be moving to wordpress
October 18, 2016
so during the next week or so we'll be moving to wordpress
September 25, 2016
ok, last post was six months ago, what happened since?
i left china and came to south america
thats what everyone asks me always and in the same way that the japanese say we have 3 faces, one we show to aquintances, other one for friends and family and the real one that we never show to anyone, so the answer to this that i give to people who are not so close to me is that i wanted to see my family becausei hadnt seen them for a long time, and even though its true,its meant to be an answer that easyto diggest, understand and relate to by anyone, so that became the template to the one we can add some detailsaccording to what we feel our listener needs to hear in that moment.
the second answer for people who are a bit closer to me is that i was looking for something different thatn what i had had for a long time, for new experiences and that why i needed to start a walking trip, because its something i had neverdone before, andsome kind of a challenge,and also becausei wastoo comfortable in asia so neededto get out of my comfort zone, and while a little bit harder to swallow,its still easily understoodby most people who somehow knew me already.
and the thirdanswerthat no one know but me, and now you, whoever you are, is more complicated to understand and to explain, we cn say that it definitely had nothing todo with family oradventures, workor oportunities nor any kind of superficial experiences or reasons, the true answer lies in the field of existentialism, and its hard to reply honestly tot he question of why moved to another continent without going into the subject of free willfirst and why we do anything we do. there are a million different variables afectingthe decision wetake, and i could probably fill upa few volumes of an encyclopedia explaining just a handful of those varibles, but theresno way people who ask you such a simple question likewhydid you come here could be ableto graspthe whole reality behind the reason we do things, so we take some super simple thing they can understand, and simplify mters sothat we can fulfillour secret desired to be understood and accepted by others. because we are afraid of being rejectedifwe tellthem there are millions of factors into play that affect our decisions.
so that is your exhaustive answer, it cn never be simple with you, there always hve tobe something else, a way to make things more difficult than they already are. and to prove how intelectually superior you feel to those who chose to live theirlives more simply without getting crushed everyday by the existential weight of being alivee and having to deal with this so called consciousness thing.
now i feel like you are projecting and thats how you seeyourselfso you putit on me, so as to explain how you feel
but why would i do that?
as some sort of therapy , or exercise, or as a way to tryto escpe the fact that you are aware that this life and this universe as we know it is either a computer simulation or somekind of illusion or that everything is real, whichmeans existence is meaningless, you are just an accident and youwill die and cease to existe and goodluck going to sleep at night with either of those
i wasnt planning to sleep anyway, and i know about that already, aandi hve made peace with the fact that either everythingis an illusion or everytihing is real and meaningless theres absolutely nothing i cn do about it, so why worrying?
faair enough, so whats up with all the typos, itslike youre not even trying
it is wht it is
so much for an nswer
March 23, 2016
People share Some negative stuff or comment, What they ate, many things that are not real and have no possitive Influence or Relevance In our lives (deadool, batman, celebrities), vanity/ego Related stuff, Or something that they like and they want you to like as well so that they can Get Reassurance from others.
This Is just an example but Negative emotions can arise every day, at anytime and for many reasons, How can we take Advantage of This and use this negative emotions To improve ourselves and strengthen our spiritual practice:
1) Understanding that it's Perfectly normal that this negative emotions Arise. Good thoughts and bad thoughts Come and go all the time Inside our minds. That is the nature of human mind and there is no Reason to feel guilty Or punish ourselves for having negative thoughts. So feel free to feel Sad, angry, stressed or frustrated. Otherwise you will end up feeling stressed about being stressed, and then feeling stressed about being stressed about being stressed, and so on. It's better to feel stressed just once, understanding that this too will pass and embracing the freedom that Comes with that understanding.
2) Understanding The suffering we cause to ourselves and to others When we try to control stuff. I cannot control my thoughts, Facebook or my friends But i can control my attitude towards them.
3) Understanding the real reason why they post those stuff and i post this stuff is because of causes and effects, We are all conditioned By many different Variables and none of us is in Full control of our actions or our thoughts.
4) Understanding we are all in different Stages in our lives, Some people are looking to be entertained or numbing their minds with Art or technology, Some are seeking Sensual pleasures, Some are seeking physical experiences, others look to aquire Material wealth while Others seek Intelectual materialism, and some are looking for peace, happiness and contentment within their own minds. It's okay that we are all in different paths and i shouldn't expect others To be on the same path as me, If our paths cross along the way that's great if they don't that's also great.
5) Understanding that suffering comes from expecting From life something it cannot give us. If i expect to be Inspired by facebook i'm gonna get disappointed, if expected to have Only happy and peaceful thoughts I'm gonna get disappointed when negative thoughts come and that will lead to suffering.
6) Understanding that it's okay for me to get frustrated or annoyed, I'm not perfect and i don't need to be, as long as i try To understand the thought processes that go behind Suffering and freedom That's already a small step towards the right direction. We will get there eventually, When we stop worrying about getting there. when we set peace, happiness and understanding as a long term goal instead of a Short term achievement every small step counts. And even if we don't get there What matters is that we gave it our very best.
March 17, 2016
For example even though i've been teaching for several years i don't consider myself a teacher, i'm just a person who works as a teacher, But i had many other jobs before teaching, and will have many different ones in the future. if i say i'm a teacher that means i can only work as a teacher And i would be closing the doors to many other things i would like or would need to do in the future.
Even though i don't usually eat meat And try to avoid dairy products i don't consider myself a vegan or a vegetarian, Because there are some situations where you just can't choose Or you don't have any money And you eat whatever people give you, In some other sItuation is better to eat the meat than to seeing it go to waste, And if i see the chickens running free and happily i wouldn't think twice about eating their eggs. And in most cases it would be Much more beneficial for The animals and the environment if i just eat whatever has been already Discarded by society (dumpster diving) Than having all these specially Made vegan Products produced and transported just for me to eat them. But if i were a vegan or a vegetarian I would have to respect my ethical code even though my instincts and common sense tell me otherwise And i would be closing the doors To the fact that ethics are not as black and white as vegans see them.
Even though i don't believe in god Or the paranormal i can not Call myself an atheist Because that would mean closing the door To a lot of amazing stuff. For example about 80% of buddhist teachings Are practical things that i can apply in my daily life To be happier, improve my life and the lives of others. The other 20% are the outdated stuff, How does karma work? MAGIC! how does reincarnation works? MAGIC! So there's no way i could close the door to that 80% of Amazing stuff I really need just because earlier in life I had decided to label myself as an atheist.
And even christianity Has a lot of amazing stuff if you really Get into IT, Like art, poetry, philosophy But IT all gets obfuscated By the dark side of Christianity, The bigotry, the racism, the pedophilia, the corruption, etc. During my trips I have been hosted and helped by so many christians, Specially in australia, in korea and in the philippines, But if i said i am an atheist that would automatically put me against them And i would be closing the door to A lot of great experiences from the ones i could really benefit from.
By the same token there are no criminals in prison, There are just people who commited crimes. There are no murders or thieves there are people who have murdered and people who have stolen.
There are people who made mistakes, There are people who were desperate, People who did what they could under the circumstances And people who felt prey Of a corrupt system Based on scarcity, Competition and inequality, But if we choose to label them as criminals We're closing the doors to forgiveness and understanding.
There are no crazy people, there are people who have mental Problems, And if we decide to label them as schizophrenic, paranoid or bipolar We are closing the doors To the healing process That can arise from focusing on the sane part of that person Instead of the sick one.
By not labeling ourselves and others We are allowing a deeper thought process to take place, In the one we can sincerely understand and accept each other, Understand ourselves and accepting that responsibility That comes along with understanding.
The responsibility of dealing more kindly with one another.
March 15, 2016
The used tell me there is something wrong with me, now they say i'm Good enough .
They used to say i shouldn't do/say this, now they say "ok, let's see what happens".
They used to be very noisy when i was trying to sleep or meditate, Now they keep quiet and help me concentrate on the task at hand
They used to say i can't do it, now they say you HAVE to do it.
They used To tell me to worry about something that has happened before or will maybe happen in the future, Now they remind me to be here right now.
They used to tell me i should be doing or thinking something, Now they're happy to just be here with me.
The used to say it's not good to be alone, now they say they are my best friends And I'll never be alone again.
March 13, 2016
We are all conditioned by our environment, by our thoughts, by our upbringing, by our level of awareness, by our education, by our experiences, by the way in that we see the world, by the way we see ourselves and by some other variables.
If we understand this we can see it's not actually their fault but there are always many factors in play.
If we are still stuck with the fault finding mind, we could rearrange the facts to fit our personal views, for example we could use their upbringing as an excuse to blame their parents, friends or teachers, we could blame the government by saying they shouldn't allow people to behave that way, we could blame their environment or society as a whole and say they acted that way because of social conditioning and that way we could blame tv, advertisements, the economy, the media, the politicians or anything we don't like for all the problems in our life and in the world.
But Once we start to understand how conditioning really works we can see past this fault finding mentality and we can understand why people are and act in certain ways that create suffering and inconveniences to people around them.
And it's much easier to understand and forgive them if they offended us in some way and understand and forgive ourselves as well for some mistakes we may have made in the past.
if we want to take it a step further we could use also try to understand the idea of the non-self, that there is nothing inside us besides those things that are a product of causes and conditions.
And going even further we could detach from the self and the fault finding mind, train ourselves and reflect on this in a way that through understanding we can apply this ideas to create a powerful positive effect that will improve our lives and the lives of those around us.
Thank you for reading.
March 12, 2016
Then you feel terrible, some time goes by, you think about what you did wrong and tell yourself you wont be making the same mistakes again in your next relationship.
Next relationship comes and sure thing you end up making the same mistake and so on.
To get out of this loop we need to do 3 things, the first one is to stop being control freaks.
We try to control our relationship, control our partner and control ourselves. And that just leads us to suffering and dissapointment.
Once you stop tring to control everything you can move on to the next step.
Which is learning to love yourself as you are, appreciate all the good things you do and say every day. And then love your partner in the same way.
And The third one is to stop expecting so much from ourselves, our partner and our relationship, lower your expectations or better yet have no epectations at all and you'll never be dissapointed.
We expect our partners to be perfect, get dissapointed when we find out they are not, and then we want to break up
We expect our relationships to be always harmonious, fun and successful, and then get dissapointed to find no relationship is perfect
But It doesnt mater if you succeded or not in your relationship in the long run, it matters that you succeded in trying and that you gave it your very best.
It's not always going to work out the way you want it to, people change, circunstances change.
But you had a great time, loved and learned a lot from each other, and that's much more important than any mistake you or they may have made.
Thank you for reading.
March 10, 2016
There is an art about doing Nothing and not feeling guilty about it, Because people usually want to make you feel guilty if you do nothing.
To the point where we are not human beings anymore, We're human doers, Human goers, human thinkers.
We're always doing something, going somewhere, thinking about something.
Why not just being for change? And if people ask you what are you doing You can say you're just watching the trees grow, And you can't move because if you move you may miss it.
We feel like we don't own our life anymore, Other people own it, We do, think and say things just because other people want us to. Or because we think they do.
But how many people you know that just want you to be happy? don't want you to be someone, Have something, do something.
I do. So that's at least one person.
That's why My dream is to be a pilgrim, a wanderer, a vagrant, and just walk, Not trying to be Someone or something, Getting rid of the self, getting rid of the me, the I and the mine. And just being.
You know, just walking and enjoying freedom, Not having to worry about where will you sleep tonight, or What will you eat, What other people think of you Or what you think of yourself.
Being the sole owner of my life and thoughts.
I have worked, thought and done enough in my life, so now It's time for peace.
Walking all around south america With my dog, You know left looks nice so we can go left, If right looks better we go right, Or we could just stay here, they're all good options.
Just walking and enjoying the view, Not having to get anywhere or accomplish anything anymore.
And if people ask us where are we going we can say we're just walking.
Mc Fly says latin america is very dangerous, But i think it's ok, we have to die Sometime anyway, we better die happy, doing something we like.
Whatever the consequences are we have to do what we have to do, So that we have no regrets in our death bed, Because In the end it doesn't really matter if we live or die what's important is that we are proud of how we lived.
March 9, 2016
Everyone will be staring always Because that's Just how it is.
That means every time You're in public You have to smile to everyone, They want to shake your hand, they want to take pictures with you, and asking the same questions over and over again
It's a surreal experience really, Could be fun for a few weeks But its definITely Not fun to live like that, You see them pointing at you, you hear them whispering, and it's super creepy when they follow you home and stalk you
They always look at you very deep in the eyes, its an extremely personal interaction
And that led me to hide my eyes under a cap Or sunglasses For a very long time because i was afraid of that extreme intimacy You have to offer to everyone Every day and everywhere you go.
And i have asked myself what would be the most compassionate way to behave towards myself and towards them In this kind of situations
It is an extremely shallow interaction, In the one they are only interested in you because of your image And that leads me to ask myself If i'm just a monkey Or clown that is here to amuse people so they can take pictures with me
Or do i have anything else to offer the world besides my image?
They don't speak any english because of course they don't, So there's no chance of any meaningful interaction And they are not aware that the same questions they want to ask me i have answered them at least a few dozen times this week
What i learned from all of this Is that The way i react to this kind of Situations has a very high effect on my spiritual practice
To be completely honest people in china are just super annoying and gross And they go out the way to make you feel uncomfortable, They smoke in the elevator, stare at you all the time, They spit and relieve themselves everywhere, They are super loud, and all of that actually helps me To be a better person.
I am not the one disturbed by the noise, i am the one disturbing the noise. I am not the one being disturbed by the smoke, i am the one disturbing the smoke
That's just the way china is, it has always been like that and it will always be like that, and There is nothing i can do about it, but it's the way i react to it that makes the whole difference
I could either get annoyed by those things and be unhappy Or i could understand that that's just the way life is, And i could go with the flow, have a laugh and have a good time with them, I know they're all nice people deep inside, Sure they're not perfect, they have their quirks, but there are good enough
It's when we try to control things that We create suffering, We try to control ourselves, to control others, To control china, To control the situation
China is not perfect, no place is.
Our planet is not perfect, People are not perfect, I am not perfect, and life is not perfect, There will always be problems and inconveniences everywhere we look
It's my choice to Focus on the good or on the bad things i see Every day. Yes chinese people still smoke in the hospitals and that annoys me, But they also do a million nice things for me
Some of them wake up at four in the morning to start making the fillings for the Mushroom steamed buns i will eat for breakfast, An old lady works the whole night cleaning the park where i will go for a run, Another old man stands the whole day in a crowded polluted and noisy street selling bananas that i will buy, And the list goes on and on. And i am extremely grateful to all of them
We suffer when we expect from life something it cannot give us.
Dogs bark, Babies cry, and chinese are terribly Loud, dirty and obnoxious, but kind deep inside and That is the intrinsic nature of things
Dogs bark, babies cry and bruce posts some cheap phylosophical reflexions Disguised in what it could have appeard to be just another rant about china, But in the end it wasn't, In the end it was nice
Thank you for reading
March 8, 2016
After spending a few years in europe I was still feeling empty inside so I thought well, maybe If i move to asia everything will be better there.
Few years in asia went by and nothing had really changed So i thought ok, once i go to australia THEN i could be in peace and happy.
After a year in australia i realized I wasn't happy there either, so i needed to go back to asia where there were still a few countries i hadn't been to And could start a new and exciting Life somewhere.
After a few more years in asia I was somehow still not happy, So decided i have to move to new zealand, THERE I will find financial and emotional stability.
And I did! I had finally found what i'd been looking for, Oh wait... no i didn't, new zealand sucked ass for me, I lost all the money i had and came back to asia because it's always easier to find a job here.
It's been three years since NZ, And even though this story is an oversimplification and a million adventures went on in between, I'm guessing you understand What i'm trying to say
Now i live in a tiny one bedroom apartment In a backwards chinese city, I sleep on the floor next my dog and use my jumper as a pillow. I have no job, not much money, no career nor any material stuff.
What i do have though, is a message to transmit, And the means to convey it in a way everyone can understand it. We don't need big words To express big emotions.
I know what you're thinking right now, Peace and happiness come from within And they don't depend on the place where you are, the things you have or the experiences you had.
And you would be right to think that way of course. But Most people reading this already know, that more means less, we can only be happy once we stop craving Things and experiences and all that hippie stuff. But There is much more to it all.
Throughout the years i Had read many books On how to be happy and peaceful and had tried Different meditation styles or retreats, like tibetan or theravada buddhism, vipassana, And they all worked well for a while and gave me a temporary boost that could last for a few days or a few weeks. And after that i started feeling miserable again, Because i was trying to force all this knowledge, understanding and techniques When i just Wasn't ready for it yet.
I was trying to force myself to be peaceful and happy In the same way that people on facebook try to impose Their views and interests on others.
Instead of allowing myself to just be, I kept getting stressed and upset at myself for not being good enough. For not being kind enough. for not being peaceful enough. For not being happy enough. And guess what, that just created more suffering.
how can i be happy if i think there is something wrong with me? If i think i'm too fat or too slim, Or i'm not smart enough, Or not experienced enough or Haven't traveled enough, or i think i'm not peaceful enough, Or i feel lonely, Or i want to Make myself feel bad for some mistakes i made in the past.
And i would end up blaming myself for all the problems in this world as well. The animals are still suffering because maybe i'm not vegan enough, The environment suffers because i'm not freegan enough And i waste too many resources, The people suffer because i don't Go to enough protests to stop the governments from making people suffer and people around me suffer because i'm not kind enough to them.
And guess what, taking all the blame didn't help either. All these years i WAS good enough and i WAS doing my best. I just couldn't see it because of a lack of understanding. Lack of wisdom to be more accurate.
When we want to feel bad We will find a way, and when we want to feel like we are the victims Of an unfair world or system We will find a way to Accommodate the facts To fit our own conjectures and views.
How can i be happy if i don't love and accept myself. If i don't appreciate all the good things i do, and keep on Focusing on the bad ones.
Now, i am not claiming to be enlightened or having all the answers, I just want to share my experiences in hope that someone will find them useful.
I don't need any prize or praise, That's why i like this blog That we can set it up to no advertisements So as not to inconvenience the readers.
And if i were to die tomorrow you will know exactly what i was thinking and feeling.
At the same time i got to a point in my life Where i stopped thinking 'maybe i shouldn't say that', Instead i'd think 'okay let's see what happens'
And is this commitment to honesty and truth the one that allows me to be writing this right now.
It allows me to be honest with myself, to understand what i really think and feel and why, and being able to share it with the world.
I am a simple person that maybe in his arrogance Truly believes he has found a meaning to it all.
It has found Its purpose in life, To serve, to be happy and to help others Find happiness By sharing with them The means, and thought processes i Found useful myself.
I am, after all, a scientist at heart, don't believe in any new age of magic kind of stuff.
What i do believe in is truth, understanding And the idea that only you are in charge of your thoughts emotions and feelings.
And whatever it is you think it's preventing you from being happy It could be seen with a different light if you so choose to.
It is said that overthinking is the Major cause of unhappiness and depression, In this case the opposite can be said as well.
Over thinking can be the way to see things more deeply And understanding you have everything you need to be happy. And every reason for it as well.
A good starting point Could be to be kind towards your body.
I used to be the person Who would sit Down for two hours In the same position trying to Meditate, Until my back And my legs would hurt.
Without knowing it, I was being aggressive to my body. Trying to find peace through violence.
That's Just one of the many mistakes i made And intend to share with you all So that maybe Together, we can come one step closer to being (and feeling) better.
Thank you for reading.
February 11, 2016
List of excuse people use:
For smoking and giving second hand smoke to non-smokers:
- All my friends smoke
- I've been smoking since I was xxx years
- It's my only pleasure in life / It's my only vice
- I may stop in the future but right now I need it
- It helps me relax
- Chinese government needs my tax money
- It's just a bad habit
- It's my life, I do what I want
To stay in a destructive or abusive relationship:
- I am hoping he will change in the future
- He's just having a bad day
- We've been through so much together
- I still love him
- He's good to the children
- I don't want to be alone
To not going traveling or doing what you really want to do:
- I'm too young / too old
- I don't have enough money
- I wont be able to find a job in other country
- I can't speak their language
- It's too cold / hot there
- I will miss my family / my family will miss me
- People will think I am not a productive member of society
To eat or cause some harm to the animals:
- They taste so good
- I need protein
- They are just animals
- I have been eating meat all my life
- We are omnivores, look at our teeth
- It's the way society works
To do terrible things, such as politicians, police, soldiers, business people or corporations causing harm or inconvenience to people or the environment.
- That's the way the world works
- That's human nature
- I like the taste of fresh blood
- I'm just doing what I'm told
- That's how our economy works
February 9, 2016
February 8, 2016
I am not planning to die anytime soon, but truth is i can die at any time and for many reason, that's part of human life, so let's say I die today and you were the last person to see me before I died.
It may be that you are my couchsurfing guest or host and found this entry in this blog through a link on my profile, checking it in confusion not knowing what to do after seeing me getting 7 warning shots from behind because police thought I was black or latino or muslim.
So you may wonder what to do now, with my stuff, with my body, with my dog.
Money never came my way, so I don't really have any material stuff, or savings or properties or anything in my name, I just have what I'm wearing and what's in my bag, and you may do whatever with them, it wont make any difference after I'm gone.
I don't really have any friends or girlfriend, I haven't seen my family in many years and most people don't really like me all that much, some they tolerate me, some know who I am, I have failed to communicate or to keep in touch with the thousands of people I met along my journeys, and my father may as well be the only person in this world that replies my messages and tries to keep in touch with me somehow, so he could be the only person you need to inform of my passing, so that he can get some kind of closure. He changes email, phone number and address every second week, so I can only contact him through wechat and here's his ID: gustland
I request all my usable organs to be donated to someone who needs them, or to science in case no one needs them, and the rest to be buried or given back to the earth for plants and animals to feed on them as I have fed on plants and animals through out my life.
My dog is the most important thing in my life, so you have to look after her, otherwise I will come back as a ghost to haunt you and make sure you always click an ad instead of the download button.
Here is what you need to know about her:
Name: Kim Bongu, but you can call just call her Bongu
Age: About 19 months old at the time of writing
Weight: 14.5 kg
Breed: Tugou, which in english would be somthing like "chinese farmer's dog"
Diet: 75% of her diet has to be protein, any meat, baked, grilled or boiled tofu, boiled carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, eggs. She can eat any dog food dry or wet. And the other 25% is carbs and fats, she can eat white rice, any bread, loves sweet potato, papaya, pumpkin, bananas, dragon fruit, cheese, yogurt.
Others: I did a lot of research and worked very hard to train her to the best behavior a dog can possibly have, now it's up to you to maintain them and not letting her develop any bad habits.
- She will never relieve herself inside your house or anyone's house for that matter, or a restaurant or hotel or anywhere indoors. Hang a little bell from the doorknob and she will ring it with her nose or paw when she really needs to go out, otherwise she will wait until you take her out, assuming you will take her out at least twice a day in the morning and evening.
- When you take her out to use the toilet she will go by herself far from you and return after 5 or 10 minutes when she finishes her business and stay next to you.
- Make sure she has water and food available at all times.
- We never use a leash, she will never go to the street, near cars and will always stay within your sight, if walking in a super crowded street she will walk next to you or right behind you so she can see you, never in front, still no need for a leash, but if you need to go somewhere where they don't allow dogs you can use a leash to tie her up to some tree or somewhere and she will stay there looking forward to your return.
- If in an elevator or waiting in line to pay for something she will stay between your legs, so she wont bother others or get in the way.
- If you talk to someone on the street or buying something she will take it as a sign of friendliness meaning that person is friendly and she can say hello or approach them confidently.
- She knows her place and knows what she is allowed and isn't allowed to do. She is not allowed to bark, bite, jump or bother any person. She is allowed to say hello to people, dogs say hello by approaching and sniffing someone they like. If she doesn't like a person or dog she would just ignore them.
- She needs to be called only once and she will come. Always. Once is enough.
- She is kind, friendly, sociable and good natured, she would never bother, hurt or cause some inconvenience to any person or other animals.
- She knows she has to sit and wait patiently while you prepare her food, and she has to sit in front of the door before we leave and when we come back home to wait patiently until you open the door for her.
- If you say "right" she will walk on your right, "left" means she has to walk on your left, that's useful in crowded streets, while running together or riding a bike, or if you think she's on the way.
- If you want to use a leash that is also ok and she will be happy to walk next to you and wont pull on it because she knows she is not in charge, she is below you in the hierarchy ladder, dogs are pack animals and need a leader to follow and look up to. They need guidance and discipline otherwise something bad could happen.
- You can't hit her, never. Nor any kind of punishment like withdrawing her food or water or locking her in a small room by herself. Dog's make mistakes and have off days same as humans, but if you say NO! just once she knows she did wrong and will correct her behavior, nothing else is needed. She learns new things through positive reinforcement, not through fear or punishment.
- "Come" is the most important command because it could save her life and she knows it, you only need to say it once and she will come blindly no matter what's happening around.
- If you get into a car, "come" means she has to come into the car with you, when we drive the scooter "come" means she has so sit between your legs.
- "Jump" while on the scooter means she has to get off and will obey it even if you haven't yet stopped, so careful with that.
- She can go through the hula hoop if you say "jump" and can jump over fences and some obstacles not higher than 1 meter.
- We use a clicker and she knows the sound of it means she did something good, also you can click it if you want her to come or get her attention.
- "Good girl" means she did well.
- If she rubs herself againn something means there is a dead animal buried there
- She can run next to your bicycle, skateboard or scooter if you think she needs exercise and can also run next to you if you go for a run.
- She can run a marathon (42km) without breaking a sweat and walk or hike 10 or 12 hours a day next to you if she has to because she's good like that.
- Knows other basic commands like "sit, go, lay down, run, paw, the other paw, spin around, wait"
- She has never and will never bite any person or animal, if she feels threatened she will hide in between your legs and if it's a sudden unexpected threat, like a bomb, she may run away scared but will come back to you soon.
- She is not neutered
- Se is microchiped and her passport and vaccinations certificates are inside a small blue bag somewhere in my house.
So yes, I died, that's life. People die, that's what they do.
There's no need for suffering, suffering comes from expecting something that life can't give you.
Were you expecting me to live forever? Life can't give you that, and the faster you understand that fact the easier it will be for everyone when the time comes.
I had spent a great deal of time, a while back ago to understand the fact that I was going to die sooner or later and coming to terms with it, so will my dog, and everyone I know, everyone I've ever met and there's nothing I can do about it, the wiser thing to do is to accept it and move on, after all I am still in charge of my thoughts, my emotions and my level of awareness and understanding can be as high or as low as i choose them to be.
If there's something that is causing me suffering I can choose to deal with it and no one is in charge of my state of mind but myself.
And what's next? Nothing, there's no afterlife or reincarnation, there's just peace and nothingness, and that's alright, a bit scary but still alright.
And what is the meaning of my dead? To give meaning to yours, to remind you life is fragile, you have only one and you have to live it to the fullest and do everything you always wanted to, before it's too late.
And what to do if you feel sad because I died? Understand that the reason you feel bad is no other than social conditioning, you are a product of your environment, and if you had been brought up in a society that celebrates dead or at least accepts it and understands it, you would be feeling otherwise right now.
Understand that you and only you are responsible of your emotions and you can choose, or learn to be happy and stay positive under any circumstance. You can choose to understand life and death. So yeah, some people will say you are a cold hearted insensitive bastard, and it's ok to put on a show in front of them so you wont get ostracized and looked down on, what's important is that in your mind you know the truth, and that you are in peace with it. However hard it may be, it's what needs to be done.
And you will miss me sometimes? Well, you can be at ease knowing I had a happy life, I followed my dreams and did what I wanted to, I had the chance of loving and being loved in return, I experienced true unconditional love, I did what I thought it was the right thing to do and lived a meaningful life. I did my best to challenge the norm, break the stereotypes, to inspire and bring joy to many, had some really amazing life experiences and died peacefully and happily, what else could one ask for?
And what's the meaning of life? To understand, to be happy, to be in peace, to share peace and love with others. To feel that unity, that sense of belonging and connectedness, to the universe, to nature and to every living thing. To feel alive, understanding comes attached to that feeling, and detachment comes attached to understanding. To love and accept yourself, to love others unconditionally, right now for who they are, with no strings attached, accepting them and letting them go, letting them be free and letting them die.
And then letting go of yourself and die as well.
With a peaceful mind.
And a smile.
I love you.
Please look after my dog.
January 28, 2016
...building a shelter for the night and ending up staying there a few weeks because i feel sorry to abandon it after it was so hard to build
...deciding i am not good enough, don't want to write anymore and giving my laptop away
...deciding i need to start writing again and getting a new laptop
...traveling during summer with nothing but tooth brush, tooth floss, passport and a spare pair of underwear, washing them every day in public toilets or streams and letting them to dry in the sun for a while before keeping walking
...getting arrested for:
refusing to pay a bribe
missing the immigration office or checkpoint and not getting a stamp they wanted me to get
being in the wrong place at the wrong time
disrespecting an officer of the law
having a protein or creatine powder confused by cocaine
saying something i shouldn't about china or north korea on the internet
being a foreigner
not registering my visa within few days of my arrival, as required by china, russia, and some countries ending in "stan". they can't accept someone can be just traveling.
disrespecting their government, their religions
working on a tourist visa
...going to live in the amazonian rain forest, or what's left of it and becoming a hunter/gatherer
...going back to the city to find an internet cafe to look up how to be a hunter/gatherer
...using my ninja skills to climb a wall and sneak into a supermarket at night because i was too hungry and couldn't find anything to eat in the forest
...losing my mind after not talking to anyone for a few months
...losing my mind after coming back to the city and talking to too many people
...becoming an eco-terrorist
...being wrongfully accused of being an Eco-terrorist by someone reading this post
...going to some villages near the china-north korean border and helping the people who escape from north korea to make it to the south korean mission in bangkok by hiking through the mountains in laos or vietnam
...getting kidnapped and sent to north korea
...being tortured in a north korean labor camp
...escaping from north korea
...learning to appreciate life, freedom, love and putting my past as a tortured slave behind
...feeling guilty about the way I abandoned all the other north korean prisoners and putting together a suicide squad whose only mission is to rescue the other prisoners
...devising 8 different plans to escape with all the prisoners:
digging a tunnel
by hot air balloon
wearing masks and fake IDs to pass as chinese citizens
building a boat and sailing around north korea until we make it to south korea,
submarine mexican cartel's style
a device that would allow us to breath underwater and swimming to south korea
trekking through the mountains
1) find a foreigner 2) explain him the situation 3) get him to give you his passport, he can get a new one at some embassy 4) put north korean person's picture on it 5) ??? 6) profit
...succeeding in escaping despite having all the odds against us
...feeling like I got help from someone...
...suddenly getting shot, bleeding out and dying happily because I stood for what was right and did my best to help those who needed me the most
...coming back from the future to help me past self to rescue some north korean prisoners
...shooting my past self and seeing him bleed to death so I can close the loop and avoid paradoxes
...taking his place and making sure everyone's safe
...using my technology from the future to rescue all the people in north korea from their oppressors
...regretting having killed my past self 25 years ago and going back in time to stop myself from doing it
1) When someone says "Hmmm..." that means they don't agree with you but they can't tell you because they need to avoid conflict at all cost
2) People will compliment you on weird stuff you didn't choose, accomplished or had anything to do with, such as your height, eye color, eyelashes length, etc
3) There is no such a thing as a social smoker, someone who smokes when he's with friends or at a party just for fun. Here you are either a chain smoker or you don't smoke at all, there's no middle point. Same goes with drinking, they wont allow you to have just a few drinks, you either get wasted or you don't drink at all. Your choice.
4) People will talk to you a lot, and very loudly, but they are friendly, that's how they are used to talk
5) If you cook something for someone and it has no chili they wont like it and they will say "Hmmm..."
6) There is no such a thing as house parties and is taboo to invite someone to your house. Not because they are afraid of you but because if they go to your house they wont be spending money and here spending money or buying many things is not seen as wasteful or arrogant, it's an attribute everyone considers positive, so if you meet someone you can't meet them at a park either, because it's free, must meet them at a restaurant, cafe, or place where you will be spending money
7) Can't share cups or bottles with someone
8) Can't say anything good or bad about the government or the bad things that happen in china, if you say something bad they will say "Hmmm..." and if you say something good it will inspire distrust
9) Can't give your clothes to others, even if it's new and very expensive and you just wore it once, it's taboo
10) "I will call the police" is not a valid threat, because everyone know police are useless and they wont help anyone who is in trouble, they can only give you more trouble
11) Everyone will stare at you, as if they were watching TV
12) Saying you're muslim is always an effective way to explain why you don't drink/smoke/eat meat.
13) There's no such a thing as friendship between boys and girls and many people say they want to be your friends but what they mean to say is that they want to practice their english or take you somewhere as the token white guy
14) The local's idea of a fun night out can be either: going to a restaurant and to a bar afterwards or going to a restaurant and to KTV after it, there's no third option
15) You must live outside the big cities, big cities are a mess
16) Police can stop you on the streets and ask you for your passport, and they can shout at you and push you if you can't speak chinese
17) Money and paying the bill is a very big deal, even if it's just 20 cents people must fight for it, and the winner gets to pay, throwing money at the waitress or cashier is an acceptable way to pay first.
18) The military can pull you over if you in a bus, a car or a train, they can question you, ask for papers and they all have shotguns and assault riffles.
19) Only requirements for working in a hotel in China: Not speaking any english
Only requirements for working as an english teacher in China: Speaking a little bit of English.
Only requirements for working for the government: Knowing someone who works there.
Only requirements for working as a police man or in the army: Being a terrible person.
Only requirements for working in a restaurant: Using chili and MSG in every dish.
20) It's very easy to find a job, and it's just as easy to not get paid for it.
January 20, 2016
the continental drifts, the great dying and other mass extinctions, the climate changes, evolution, it all leads you to this very moment in life, you are here because million other beings were brave, tough and lucky to pass on their genes to you
we could say then that now is your time to shine, and there's nothing to stop you from doing it, there are no predators, no ice age coming anytime soon, we can fight off starvation and disseases, and there's no meterorite going to hit our planet in the near future
i concede most governments are doing heir best to give us a hard time, last year alone they spend 175 billions in war, so they can kill other humans that they don't like, they put checkpoints and people with guns here and there to make you scared, they make rules, laws and policies to take away your freedom in as many ways as they can, they pollute the air and the rivers, cut down the trees and kill the animals, they try to make you a slave of their system
they make you a slave through low wages and social control, they make sure you are not able to save or earn enough money to live a happy life, and in the case that you decide that money doesn't bring happiness, they use social pressure to make sure you stay in the path they want you to follow so they can control your life
but once you can bypass the governments its just you and the earth, there are still plenty of places unexplored out there, unexplored to you at least, and you can choose.
you can choose if you want to be alone or with others, you an choose what to eat and when, what to do and what not to do, what to think and how to live your life away from that pressure you once had.
That pressure to keep the government and people around you happy, because you knew if you didn't do what they wanted you to they wouldn't have let you be happy or in peace with yourself
truth is though, that while the 99% of people are fighting for you to stay in the system there's still that 1% like myself that are fighting to get you out of the system, with the hope that someday, if enough people start refusing to cooperate with a system based on slavery and income inequality, it will just collapse by itself or become obsolete
lies, lies, shameless lies, everything people say to you is pure lies, they lie because they are afraid you will do something they are not brave enough to do. They are afraid that you will prove them wrong. They are afraid of you not reinforcing their ideas and beliefs. they just want reassurance, so they want you to agree with them and do what they do.
but maybe so do I, either way i still need to share a valuable piece of knowledge, it doesn't mater what you do or don't do in your life, if you work or not, if you have a family or not, if you are rich or poor, it's all the same, true freedom comes from understanding and accepting your destiny, accepting death.
if you are happy or sad, sleep in the street or in a house, have many friends or none, it's all irrelevant, because once you accept that life is short, you will die and your consciousness will be lost forever, with all your memories and experiences, you will start caring less about what other think, do or say, because they are in a different wavelength.
what do you want to do today? want to go tell your neighbor that you love him/her? that is fine, want to quit your job and go living in the mountain eating insects you find under the rocks, that is fine, or drink a bottle of whiskey and jump of a building with a parachute blasting the opening theme of one punch man on your headphones, that is fine and is probably the best thing you could do today, or don't, both are good options as long as you understand and are in peace with the fact that you will die either way.
Question: "Have you eaten?"
Right answer: "Yes, you?
Wrong answer: "No, not yet"
Very wrong answer: " No, unlike the Chinese, we don't need to eat at a specific time of the day, we can just eat when we are hungry"
Comment: " Let's go out to play"
Right answer: "Play? You mean hang out? Sure, let's do it"
Wrong answer: "What do you mean by "play"?"
Very wrong answer: "Sure, what do you want to play? Football? Basketball?"
Comment: "My English is not good"
Right answer: "Don't worry, I can understand what you say"
Wrong answer: "Try singing more English songs in KTV?"
Very wrong answer: "Well, you only learned English for like what? 15, 20 years?"
Question: "Don't you miss your family?"
Right answer: "Yes, of course, I call them every day and I go to see them twice a year"
Wrong answer: " I haven't talked to them in a couple of years, I'm not sure what they're up to"
Very wrong answer: "No"
Comment: " Eat more! Eat more! Drink more! Drink more! Ganbei! Bottoms up!"
Right answer: "Ok, ok, thank you!"
Wrong answer: "I can't, I'm full"
Very wrong answer: "No"
Comment: "We are friends now, ok?"
Right answer: "Yes, of course"
Wrong answer: "Means I'm in the friendzone already?"
Very wrong answer: "Oh, come on, we met like 5 minutes ago, why do you guys all have to be so needy?"
Question: "Why are you here? why aren't you in Beijing or shanghai?"
Right answer: "I'm going to Beijing tomorrow and to shanghai right after that"
Wrong answer: "Here is nice, you know that's the way life is, some people are here some people are there, we can't all be in Beijing or shanghai all the time"
Very wrong answer: "Why would I want to go to one of the most polluted and dirtiest cities in the world, where everyone one wants to cheat me because I look different while there are like a million nicer places to be in china"
Comment: "You can do this, you can do that, you can buy this, you can buy that, you can go here, you can go there"
Right answer: "That's great, I'll do it"
Wrong answer: "Ok, I'll think about it"
Very wrong answer: "You know in English you can't just go around telling people what they can or can not do, they usually already know and don't need your permission, for example there's no need to say "you can stay in a hotel" or "you can take a taxi" because we are actually already aware of the existence of hotels and taxis, we just can't afford them"
Question: "Do you have a girlfriend?"
Right answer: "Yes"
Wrong answer: "No"
Very wrong answer: "well, hmm… how to explain… do you know what hentai is?"