Evolution of hitchhiking

Shall we use a sign? 

Signs are for beginners, we are pros now!

We don’t need one?

When we started hitchhiking we used signs because we were shy, we didn’t know what to do or where to stand and wanted the sign to do the job for us

And now?

Now we are pros, we don’t need a sign, or a backpack to look like backpackers, or a map to show our driver where we’re going, or a compass, nor we need those books and glasses we used to carry around while hitchhiking to pretend we were harmless students

So what do we need now?

A drink of course

You mean an alcoholic drink?

Not necessarily, any drink would do it, sometimes even a fruit or vegetable, carrot and apple specially because they are not messy

And how to do it now?

Drink in right hand, left thumb up facing the cars you want to stop

That’s it?

That’s the magic of it you see, same as at a party, the drink conveys the message that you are very relaxed and they should pick you up because you are awesome

Or drunk

Either way

About Ariel

Probably no other moment had a greater impact in my life as those 10 seconds when I was walking around the pedestrian street in Rosario and saw a familiar face walking towards me.

It was ariel gutierrez, he was listening to some song with his headphones but he wasn’t just singing along, he was shouting the song, so loud everyone was staring and creating an opening for him to walk through as they thought he was just some crazy person screaming on the street.

But I knew him, I knew he wasn’t crazy; he was just special, like me.

And he didn’t care that everyone was looking at him or that they thought him crazy. He kept walking and singing and smiling and doing a little dance.

And I thought that’s the person I want to be, I used to admire him.

I thought I want to be happy and sing without caring what others would think.

I want them to know I’m special too and they should open the way for me, because I’m also coming through and don’t care if they think me crazy.

I’m coming through anyway.

Note: ariel gutierrez was my best friend for a while, someone I would tell everything and trust my life to, then we fought because of some silliness and never saw each other again. He was probably also the reason I stopped eating meat. And I used to have a crush on his sister, who also had a crush on me, but nothing ever happened because when I was in argentina I was afraid of talking to girls, and she was also afraid of talking to guys, so we never talked, Just blushed and giggled nervously.

'

Someone’s hiding in the dark

I’m always hiding behind some bushes at night, hiding from the people and the police because I find it sickening the fact that I live in a society that has to pay for sleeping, and frowns upon those who refuse to do so.

Often wonder if there are others like me, people hiding, in the same city, maybe in a nearby bush, people who are also wondering if there are others like them

Probably there aren’t, well there millions in poor countries like india, but those are people who don’t have a choice, so I don’t really feel as they are the same as me. Because I do have a choice, I do have a bit of money to pay for rent or for a hotel, and even if I didn’t I know couple of hundred people that would let me crash in their couch.

But still I choose to sleep on the street, or hide because it’s my nature. Because it’s something I instinctively do, when I’m just walking around somewhere I always keep an eye out for places to sleep, where I would be concealed from people, protected from the elements and the wildlife, where I can have a good night sleep.

And it’s not about the money anymore, it’s not about saving money it’s about doing what I feel like doing and about being by myself, because most days I don’t feel like socializing and talking to people, most days I just feel like walking around during the day searching or gathering food, and find a shelter for the night.

That’s what feels right, my body wasn’t designed to sit and play league of legends for 14 hours in a row, it was designed to look for food and shelter, to survive the cold, the night, the predators (now we call them  police), to adapt and thrive in a hostile environment.

It just feels right somehow.

.

About rainbows

This days I saw lots of rainbows in the glacier, because it rains every day, and was thinking what did our ancestors thought about rainbows? and northern lights? and earthquakes? And those fireballs in laos?

they should have been so confused!

I wonder if they were humble enough to admit they hadn’t the vaguest idea what they were, or maybe they just rushed to attribute them to some supernatural source, because hey, they were always high right?

Or maybe they weren’t, I’m not an anthropologist but I suspect they were always eating some hallucinogenous roots or mushrooms or fermenting some strange alcohol, because why else would they invent all this crazy stories and rules, gods, sacrifices, they had to be like really high 24/7, right?

Humans just started recording history accurately around 100 years ago, before that we have some sort of idea what was going on, but there’s lots of guess work involved, like with the voynich manuscript, we understand there are some drawings of some plant and its parts, some recipes, and the rest is just speculations, hundreds and hundreds of pages of sweet speculation.

?

Whatever 17

Why do you always talk to yourself?

Because I’m crazy?

You are peculiar, we agreed not to use the C word, remember?

Ok, then because I’m peculiar

And why is that?

Because I’m not good with people

And you know why?

Because I’m different somehow?

We are all different in some ways

But I’m special

In which way?

In the way that I enjoy conversations with myself more than with other people

And why is that?

I’m not sure, maybe because I get to ask myself the right questions and challenge them, like a psychologist would.

And maybe also so that you don’t need to put the effort to get to know, interact and understand other people?

Maybe, but this way seems to work alright, so why should I change it?

Because people need you, they need to be in touch with, they need to understand you

People know me too well already, they know I say what I want and I do what I want, they understand I’m not so good with people that’s why I talk to myself

But some people need you to take a break from talking to yourself and talk to them also, they need attention

They are old enough already, they don’t need me at all

It’s got nothing to do with age, they need to know you are there for them; they need to know you care

They know that already, people who read this know more or less where to find me, they know how to contact me and they know if they ever need anything I’ll be there for them. But I can’t keep in touch daily  because I’m always traveling and internet is a luxury in NZ

They know that, but they think when you do contact them you could try to be nicer to them

I’ll try to be nicer then

But not in a condescending way

I know, I know

You’re not better than anyone else and you know that

I know! And I’ve never implied I was, I know I’m a prick sometimes, but I’m trying to change that

Thank you for your honesty

I’m glad we understand each other, I need you, you know

I know, you need me to tell you the truth and broaden your perspective of events and people around you

And to be there for me

Alright, you’re not getting emotional are you?

Never

At least 50 times a day

You’re right, who am I kidding, I love you man

Have a good night

Whatever

Friendly reminder to myself

I know many people get offended when they read my posts, because my outlook on life is quite different from everyone around.

I know also I’m not the nicest person around and my lack of tact often hurts people, so I’ve been thinking about ways to change that.

The easiest way would be of course to just stop talking, but that can be quite hard when I live in a society where people talk to me.

Other way would be thinking twice before speaking, that works well in the short run but after sometime you just forget about it and go back to your old ways.

So I have designed a way to remind myself to be nicer to people, live in the moment and think twice before talking, ok ok, I haven’t really designed it, just copied from the film inception.

A reality check, a 10d, and when I see it, will trigger the best on me

Hope it works!

backpacker hotels in new zealand

why dont you want to stay at the backpackers hotel like all the other foreigners in new zealand?

because they are lame

but it's the norm, young travelers here are expected to stay at the backpackers hotel, didn't you hear?

actually i did hear it, but it's still lame, I'm not gonna pay for sleeping, at least not for sleeping in a filthy crowded place, for that i can just sleep on the street. when one pays for a hotel one pays for privacy, if you're not gonna get that why paying in the first place?

as i said, social conventions dictate that they HAVE to stay at the hostel, share the room with many people, and socialize with them of course

that's non-sense, I don't want to socialize! what am I supposed to talk about with all this people?

I don't know, you'll think of something

and what if I can't afford it?

in that case you borrow money from someone and stay there anyway

crazy, do you even know how expensive those places are?

yeah, anything between 20 and 35 dollars for a dorm room depending on the city

alright lets say its 30, that's almost a thousand dollars a month for a dorm room, it's just too much

well you're not in asia anymore

regardless of the country, lets say it costs 25 per night, and they have 15 rooms with 4 beds each, that's more than 40.000 net profit a month. and they don't pay taxes, they give you no invoice, they don't pay their employees because they always have someone working for accommodation, they charge you for things that are provided free in any other country, like internet and towels. There's is not one hostel or backpackers hotel in new zealand that provides free internet and that's like the very basic thing they should provide for travelers, well besides the bed of course.

how do you know so much about this places if you don't use them?

alright alright, i did go to one in auckland when just arrived in new zealand, they said it was 32 dollars and then they said it was 5 more per day if i wanted internet.

alright, they are a bit overpriced, but i think most people who stay there don't really pay for the bed, but for the experience, they get to meet so many people in a very very short amount of time

like speed dating

exactly like speed dating, you know they are young, they are on holidays and they want to have fun. what is 30 dollars if you can meet 50 people of the opposite sex in a relaxed environment and hook up with some of them

I see, so they pay to hook up. that means I've been doing it wrong all this time.

it's ok you didn't know, you thought they were just paying for a place to stay because they are rich and too good to sleep on the streets

well, whatever, I'm not all that into promiscuity anyway

you don't have to, you can also meet that special someone there and you know you can actually find so many free stuff there, things people left behind like tents, sleeping bags, laptops, lots of clothes and gadgets

who would leave their laptop behind?

they just forget them or get tired of carrying them around so they leave them there

so if i pay 30 i can get a girl, new clothes, tent and laptop

and more, sometimes people left behind food and shoes,

food, girl and laptop? really?

really

but still, 30 dollars, oh man

you could always sneak in, worse case scenario they kick you out, they're not gonna call the police, doors are always open and the staff doesn't know most of the people staying there

you and me? sneak in together?

yeah and him

him too?

yes

alright, this trio could work!

About vanuatu and my life

The other day I got picked up in a van that was carrying 10 people from vanuatu and I felt like i was back in asia when they started playing this party music very loud and singing along

they told that in vanuatu they can't leave someone on the street, so when they see someone hitchhiking they HAVE to pick  him up, because of their upbringing they can't choose not to pick him up.

when they see someone without a place to sleep they have to take him in. that reminded me of some other experiences I had in other countries, like getting denied service in china for being a foreigner. being harassed by japanese and australian police, being robbed at gun point in argentina and many more. Man! In japan met just so many people that wouldn't just not help you out, but they would actually go way out of their way to make your my life more troublesome.

well the night went on and after the ride they invited me to stay at their place, i found they were living in dorms with 60 people from vanuatu and in that village there were 400 of them, most people in the village were from vanuatu. i found that they lived in precarious conditions and got exploited by some kiwi landlord and contractor, same as me when i just arrived in NZ. they didnt have internet or phones, but they were so happy

of course they shared their food and drinks with me. the special drink from vanuatu is called cava. its not alcoholic but they extract it from some kind of root, it makes them very relaxed and calm, like smoking week, they said its like drinking weed

when i tasted it it was just terrible, terrible taste, so i asked them why dont they put some sugar on it to make it taste sweeter , they said noooo and they laughed at me, but for me it was just the logical thing to do because that thing tasted so bad, like vodka, I don't understand how people can drink vodka, tequlia, sake, soju by itselfs, its just disgusting

there are many many pacific islanders here in new zealand, picking fruits and doing farm work, and i remember that before i went to korea i had had the chance of visiting many other countries, but after living in korea for 9 months i thought korean people were the nicest people I had met, then I moved to taiwan and changed my mind, taiwanese were by far the best. and now if i had to make a chart with the most hospitable people ive met it'd be something like this

1 pacific islanders (tonga, samoa, vanuatu, fiji, cook, etc)
2 muslims
3 taiwanese
4 korean
5 others



and still many people ask me if i miss argentina or if i plan to go back there. I always say I don't know, but what I actually want to say "probably no, or maybe just on holidays" but that's a very cold answer, people don't like cold answers even though they are honest

the thing is that  I've been to just so many other amazing places, places where i felt welcomed, places where i don't need to live in fear of thieves, guns and corrupted police, places where not everyone's out to get me, places where i can go out at night without worrying about coming back alive, I can find a job and don't need to constantly look over my shoulder to make sure no one is following me to mug me

tourists keep going on and on about how marvelous a place argentina is, well of course it is if you go with foreign money that is worth like 5 times more there and you stay for just a few weeks or a few months, but if you have to live and work there oh man!

and after I say I don't know if i'll ever go back there, they ask me "and what about your family?" the answer I usually give is that they are alright and we manage to keep in touch online, but what I actually  mean to say is that my family will have to understand that their son, nephew, grandson, etc, is happy somewhere else and that is not because of them, is because of me.

traveling is not just something I do, is part of who I am

something i have to do for myself and has nothing to do with anyone else

and me leaving argentina had nothing to do with them either, it was just something that needed to be done

the reason I chose to live at the edge of the knife, to jump from the bridge to the cargo train instead of running behind it and hopping on the last wagon. digging a hole in the ground to sleep and swimming to the other side instead of taking the ferry is that actually I enjoy the thrill of the fight, i enjoy the challenge, the hardship, it makes my life more interesting and it makes me somehow happy.

but hey that sounds just so dramatic, doesn't it? Sorry about that, here's a rainbow~

No1

the first korean song i heard was probably valenti or no1 by boa which was not really korean, was probably japanese, because she is korean but sings in japanese for some reason

heard it by accident because it was part of the song selection of the game pump it up that we were playing every day, and I thought, whoa, what is this fresh sound, so easy to listen, so, just so bubly and cheerful, there was so much, i don't know magic on those songs

now its been, i don't know 5 or 10 years I dont play pump, but whoa, we had so much fun with boa, novasonic, mozart, djdoc, the songs sounded so crazy, some songs it was just people shouting random words we didnt even understand, but we still danced and jumped like monkeys

but probably it wasn't the game or the songs it was just a reason to get together, to do something fun and meet new people, well not really, we met the same people every day but that was cool because we were there and boa was singing and there was always a crowd around us and we felt like superstars even though we were teenagers and had no idea what we were doing

about the christian family

as i said yesterday i will try to post more about daily life stuff

when i was approached by this people from the christian religion i talked about int he last post, i was a bit scared, but not so much

because by stating your religion as soon as you first meet someone you're establishing a difference between the 2 of you and bringing up a subject that is likely to make the other person feel unconfrotable

if i were in the US, I'd be afraid that the person talking me about christianity is a gun freak that has just voted for bush and hates me for being a foreigner, but in new zealand religion usually means good news, at least for me

families here had at least 10 children, one family had 11, and it really helped to see how happy all this children were, they were all running around, playing and having fun. and the parents seem to really care about them

when i came home with them they told me the childrens were all being home schooled, and the all learn some trade, electricity, carpentry, etc by the age of 20

and I thought I wish my parents had cared that much for me, and had taught me a trade when I was young

well I'm sure they loved me their own way

a night at burguer king

23/6/2013

I have decided to talk a bit less politics and talk more about my daily life, feelings and thoughts

of course sometimes i feel down and a bit worthless like most people do, but then i think about it and i realize im actually really lucky and most people actually envy my lifestyle

is unique and strange, but quite interesting also, because i chose to live without using money, or using way less than everyone else, I'm usually in different cuntries or different cities within a country, try to live in the moment and learn something new every day

i know what you're thinking, living without money = freeloader, but actually is not like that, not at all! but more about that later

also i meet many new people every day and learn from them as well

yesterday it was saturday, the 22nd, i was stuck without a place to sleep, as usual. well not as usual, but it does happens a few times a week.

and as i cant pay money for accommodation for reason i will also explain later, my options are usually 4, couchsurfing, knocking on the door, finding some other place (abandoned building, car, empty room) or sleeping in the bush

yesterday i got stood up by my cs host after waiting for 5 hours int he cold, so gave up on that one, it was way too cold to sleep on the bush and I knew it would have been quite dangerous as it was literally as cold as it gets in new zealand. very windy and dry air that makes it hard to breath

so i found a burguer king along the highway, get in and asked them what time do they close, hoping they would stay open all night, and I could have just stayed there and sleep next day in some park

they said they close at midnight, and I thought "oh man, I am fucked in the ass" as there was nothing else around, it was 8 pm, so i said well at least i still have 4 hours off the cold

sitting on a stool for 2 hours, thinking and dreaming, then i was 3 hours, and there were just 3 other guys sitting on a nearby table, looking at me.

I thought, hey, it would be nice if they invited me in to stay at their place, but then i thought ufff, they actually dont look so friendly and i would have to socialize, and then we would find all the things we don't have in common. but i thought what the hell is that or no sleep, because i knew i would have to walk all night, because its hard to knock on people doors after midnight, people are scared, providing i could even find their house in the dark

but well anyway the 3 guys left and i switched to imagining a different random scenario.

I imagined there was a big group of about 50 people, mostly teenagers, and a few adults, like 5. I noticed that many of them were heavily over weighted, so i instantly thought they were australians on a school trip. but hey at a random burguer king on the highway, at 11.30 pm, no that's not possible, its past their bed time, well anyway. 6 of them sit on my table and the adult in charge of them strikes a conversation

hey man where are you from, he said, i'm from argentina i replied

he seemed a bit confused that i was the only person there and had nothing on my table, no food, so he asked, are you waiting for your food?

i said, well... not really, it's just a bit cold outside so i was just hanging around, i found that many people laugh when i I say a bit cold, because actually is terribly cold

I was aware of the fact i have this homeless vibe around me, with the beard, greasy hair, tired eyes, wearing lots of clothes and a filthy sleeping bag next to me, so he asked, have you got nowhere to stay?

'this is my chance' I thought, and I said, yeah, I'm just waiting for that to.. to come along, so he said i could stay at his mate's place, other of the guys who was ordering burguers there with them

that'd be awesome I thought, but decided to go a bit japanesy about it and politely refuse, i said no, don't worry, I don't want to cause any trouble

there's no trouble he said, come ans stay with us, so i said 'are you sure?' he said of course

we kept talking and he mentioned they were from a christian church and were on their way home from some inter churches school event, when he said that i thought 'oh man, religion? what am I getting myself into'

the he said ' I don't believe in religions, but have you heard of jesus crhist' I said yes while reminding myself choices were thin on the ground tonight

soon after that i found myself in a van surrounded by 10 kids ages 10 to 16 screaming around about who score more goals on the game they had just played, while they were shouting i started calculating the odds of what had just happened, so came up with a kind of drake equation for it, some of the variables included the amount of sports events they participated yearly for the ones they had to leave their city, amount of children that played, amount of nights i find myself sitting in a fast food restaurant in the middle of nowhere before they close, and some of the constants were the number of fast food restaurants along the highway, the number of tables on this one, the number of adults, etc, and then i lost count, but well there were like 15 tables, more than 100 seats there, and just a few adults, chances one of them sitting next to me was easily 100 to 1, and while calculating and with some kids staring at me i thought to myself 'this night took an unexpected turn'

now is the morning after, i had a great night sleep in a warm bed with clean sheets, a nice breakfast, a hot shower, and the time i was fearing came, they said, we are going to church, would you like to come, so i politely explained them I was not really into religion and felt a bit unconfortable going to church, thank them for everything and said i would be on my way and may try to make it to queesntown before nightfall

they said, oh its alright you can stay another night if you want to, you dont need to come to church

i said cool, and now is almost noon and I'm typing this while they are in church, used the first hour to clean the kitchen and to do all the dished of the dozen children who had breakfast before leaving, so now can sit on the computer without guilt

i did learn a bit from this big family, but that's another story

The cities where people have no souls

I don't want to go to auckland, people usually say. if i ask them why not, they say people have no souls there, and I'm like what?

it's like sidney in australia, it's just not a nice place to be

everyone hates sydney, everyone hates auckland, and those who live there always complain and dream about moving to wellington or melbourne, you know the cool places

wellington and melbourne are where all the cool kids go, you know those who smoke weed, wear hoodies and play in a band

auckland and sydney on the other hand are where your boring old cousin lives, you know the accountant who works at a bank, watches tv, plans his holidays one year in advanced and is always complaining about how he has to wait too long in traffic. The one who hates his life and goes knocking on his neighbor door because their music is too loud. They are trapped in the routine of a mundane 9 to 5 job, secretly jealous of his hippie cousin who live a relaxed life in melbourne or wellington. yet they don't seem to have to courage to change his life, and would never admit they want to anyway.

for me though, as a foreigner in australia and new zealand, I don't really care much about neither of those cities, and if i were a city I'd probably be Perth.

no one really cares much about perth, its

isolated, far from everything, not many people get there because it's just too far and there's nothing there

Perth is like that cousin of yours who moved to other continent decades ago, and no one has heard much about him since

They know he's there somewhere, far away, they know he's alright, minding his own business and without causing much trouble

They know he is happy living life on his own, in his own world, in his cloud, with his dreams who are totally different from everyone else’s

He doesn't want to be an office worker in sydney but doesn't care much about those hippies from melbourne either, he just wants to be left alone

Neither too cool or too boring, perth is the place to be for those of us who don't really fit anywhere else

Perth doesn't try to look cool, or impress you and doesn't care about his big brothers

Perth is just there

And he just doesn't care

About totororoto

Lets take the bus 

na, I’d rather walk.

why is that?

I just don't like the bus.

What, are you too good to use public transport?

No, I'm just too poor to use it. It costs a lot, so as long as I have feet I'll walk, run or ride the bicycle, if I ever get my legs cut off, I'll then maybe take the bus or the train.

But do you know how far is it?

Yes, it takes 4 hours walking from here.

How can you walk so much?

That's because I don't see walking as a waste of time, like most people do. For me it's nice, I get time for me, time to think, saves me money, get exercise, meet people, find stuff on the way, discover new parts of the city, what could be better?

With the bus I have to spend money, and spend so much time sitting, sitting is the worse, also as with most other posts, the idea for this post came up while walking alone aimlessly.

Best ideas come when you are walking alone, without music, without distractions, just you and the road.

In the bus there's always people bothering me, they want to hug me, or take a picture with me.

It's actually quite tough being famous, because sometimes you just don't want to talk to people and smile and be polite, sometimes you just want to be left alone.

Sometimes you just want to walk, at night, through the park, thinking of rainbow dash, or thinking of a girl you used to know, thinking of what kind of bird it is, the one that's singing that beautiful song you hear in your mind while you're making spaghetti, that songs that goes something like this "totororototo totorororo 

totorororo tororototo tororoto tororoto rotototo tororo tototo". 

That guy

what happened to that guy?

which guy?

you know, "that guy"?

which one?

You know, that guy who carried a notebook with him on the train, sat across a cute girl and started writing something, when she looked at him,

he blushed and shyly looked down, what happened to that guy who was always doing the naruto hand signs, carrying pokemon cards everywhere just in case he finds a challenger, that guy who got all the weapons, cards, summons, materias in all the final fantasy games, used to try to transform into super sayan daily and was afraid of talking to strangers, what happened to that guy?

I don't know he moved on I guess

oh, alright then

About pull ups / chin ups

Today is a special day, the most special day this year. Today is the day I made it to 25.

25 pull ups in a row.

That was actually my goal last year, but made it this year instead.

What's so special about pull ups you ask, well nothing really, it's just my way to feeling better about myself. 

As that's pretty much all I have, not gonna win an oscar anytime soon, have no money, no friends, no job, no girlfriend, no house, been sleeping in a tent for over a month now. 

I'm technically a failure in every possible way, pull ups are all I have to feel good about myself. Something I can say I'm good at.

As I've never crossed paths with someone who could do 25 pulls ups in a row before, some guys I've met could do 10, but that was it.

Everyone you meet is better than you at something, and i want to be better at something also, i want to feel healthy, I want to feel strong, want to feel proud of myself.

pull ups are the best because you don’t need to go to the gym, just need to find a tree, or some stairs, they are like the squats of the upper body, if you are jogging and stop for pull ups they

will give you that push you need to continue jogging a while longer and if you are cold or lonely and stop for pull ups you'll get warm immediately.

pull ups are the single best thing for those of us who need to fill their empty and meaningless lives with a false sense of achievement that would help them sleep at night and make it through another day of immeasurable solitude.

From here and from there

Where are you from?

I don't know, from here, i guess, from everywhere.

What do you mean?

Just can't limit myself to a town or a country or a planet or a solar system, or a galaxy. I'm one with the universe because the atoms in my body originated

in the stars, I'm made of star dust and when I die I'll go back to the stars. I feel one with every person, with every animal, plant, with every inanimate object,

they are me and I am them. Can't say I'm from here or from there because I'm from everywhere. the countries have been here for very short a time but

a part of me has been here for billions of years already. 

A sense of unity, it's just beautiful.

are you high?

yes

About Tommy

Tommy, is a japanese pop/rock/punk singer i used to be obsessed with some years ago.

her name is kawase tomoko, used to be the lead singer of the brilliant green, then went solo, got other band, then went back with the brilliant green, she's not sooo popular, but most people in japan would know some of her songs.

first time i heard her songs i thought they sounded so cute, a new sound, like nothing i had heard before.

got even more into her after watching some of her concerts, mostly because of her stage presence, she looks just sooo awkward on stage, like she doesn't know what she's doing or like she doesn't want to be there at all

it's like she doesn’t care about the audience at all and that's actually quite awesome, considering most japanese singers always suck up to their audiences

and some rock singers pretend they don't care but their body language betrays them and you can tell they actually really care

tommy has a nice voice but always sings like she's annoyed and doesn’t really want to sing

it's strange but that's also what makes her special i guess

don't really know why i like her so much, but I'm am glad i do, because she makes me feel stuff i wouldn’t feel otherwise, endorphin, adrenaline, oxytocin, i don’t know, just that rush you feel when you are in love, makes you invincible

may she be the reason i like older woman? Probably not, as she doesn’t really looks her age and appears to be quite childish and immature

or maybe i like her because she looks like she's got even more issues than me

or her attitude, she's always like "ufff" and i'm like "ufff" and wonder why she's like "ufff"

then she coffs, sighs and yawns on stage, most times she just looks down and i wonder why she does that

what is it that's annoying her so much, why is she so bored on stage

why is she singing if she doesn't want to sing

i don’t know but maybe apathy is the new sexy?

Probably not

Life's a mess, life's alright

Whether my life is a mess or not depends on 2 factors, first the time that

I wake up and second how much physical exercise I get during the day.

If I wake up after 8 am, the day is ruined, because it takes like 1 hour to

shower, make some food, eat something and get ready to go out, so when you go out is like 9 and morning is almost gone, day ruined.

If no strenuous physical activity gets done during the day it’s hard to sleep at night

either because of too much energy or because of feeling guilty for not exercising.

once those 2 requirements are met the rest doesn't really make much difference, if there is money or work, the country where i live, the people i hang out with, nothing of that would make any difference.

just need to make sure to start the day early and get the exercise out of the way as soon as possible, so that the rest of the day counts as a recovery time.

and can feel like everything's alright.

Some day

Someday I will be the one throwing coins into the fountain instead of

being the one picking them up

Someday I'll be the one driving people around instead of asking for a lift

I'll be the one providing food instead of asking for it

I'll be the one who can look after and mentor other people

I'll be the one dumping food instead of dumpster diving

Ok, no, that's wrong, I shouldn't throw food away

how about this:

someday I'll be the one growing food instead of scavenging for it

that's better

some day I'll be the one stealing the pot from the fish

ok that's also wrong

or maybe not so wrong?

well I'm not sure

I know the chinese fish for example they just want to gamble

they don’t care about equity, just want the rush of playing

so it's actually not so wrong, as you are giving them what they want

an experience

and isn't that what life's all about anyway, experiences, enjoying the ride, going all in and having fun

why do we have to worry about implied odds, rakeback, bankroll, cheap showdown, collision, etc. The fish doesn't worry about anything, they just play for fun

they have other sources of income so they can afford to go all in with a low hand

some day I'll be a fish

Hanging out with brits

 I've been feeling a bit bad when i was hanging out with some british friends the last couple of days

why is that?

because they always say stuff that make me feel very poor, we were talking about the train and they said "it's only 12 dollars" but i thought, as I always think,

12 dollars is a lot, it's not ONLY 12 dollars. As it was a very short train ride, less than 1 hour, that in other countries would cost 2 or 3 dollars, maybe 5, but not 12.

and then they said its just 50 bucks for a dorm room in a hostel. and again i thought, 50 dollars is a lot and saying bucks instead of dollars doesn't really make it sound much better.

well, probably it does make it sound cheaper for them, but not for the impartial observer.

I do understand they haven't traveled much and only know the prices in the UK and here, so they think everything is so cheap here, but actually new zealand is one of the most expensive countries in the world, so unless you're from the UK or maybe norway you're not gonna be able to afford 12 dollars for a short train ride into the city.

Because of that, I will make sure to never use that tone "it's only ... bucks" when I talk to someone unless I'm 100% sure the person I'm talking to has heaps more money than me and wont make them feel bad about how much money I have and how I think everything is so cheap here.

  

The source of happiness

Wish someone had told me this before, in my teenage years, when i was always depressed and felt lonely every day, wish someone had explained me how exercise works and the effect it has in our mood and in our daily life.

Bruno has been running 10km a day for the last couple months, and has actually never felt better.

Usually in the mornings, can take anything from 50 up to 70 minutes and

that would make Bruno feel happy the rest of the day.

10k sounds like nothing, its just one hour a day, but it's amazing the effect it has in life. to a point it feels empty without it, it feels like something's missing.

and I wish when i was 17 and feeling absolutely lost, someone had taken me for a run and showed me the source of happiness.

Just so that it's out there

If my memory doesn't fail me I think i was 14 when I learned that second hand smoke was actually much more harmful than smoking yourself.

Then I realized my mother had smoked inside the house, next to me for as long as I had memory.

She would bring all her friends home and they will all smoke nonstop next to me while i was in developing age to

make sure I wouldn't grow healthy and that i had respiratory and growth problems.

For the record, we are not taking about 1950's farmers who

just don't know any better, we are talking about educated people in the big city during the 90's, people who are very aware of the dangers of smoking for themselves

and for others, especially for children. 

Yet she just didn't care and spent almost 20 years smoking in front of me at every chance she had, even though

she knew i had asthma, and that was the single worst thing she could do to me.

So of course when i was old enough to understand what was going on around me,

I confronted her and asked her to stop. Not just for me but for herself and everyone around her.

What was her answer? Crying and screaming as if i was a criminal for asking her to quit. Saying that's not so bad and she didn't drink alcohol, so she had to smoke.

I've always wondered, what kind of logic was that? The fact that one doesn't drink allows you to ruin other people lives, and be a pain for everyone around you?

It keeps showing up in my nightmares sometimes, her long curly hair, shaking nervously and shouting hysterically while holding a cigarette called "derby".

Then she would cry and get violent, say she didn't have money, while everyone told her, maybe if you stopped spending it all on that vice of yours, to what she replied

"It’s my only pleasure in life."

Anyway, the years went by, asked her time and time again to quit, she didn't listen, sometimes said she would but never did.

When i was old enough, started taking the cigarettes away from her, as if she was a child, she would again cry and try to hide

them somewhere so that I couldn't find them.

Crazy, right? Or maybe I'm crazy for thinking smoking is bad.

Or for asking my mother to do something for me.

Or for trying to take care of her.

Or for trying to do the right thing.

Or for trying to change her.

It's been more than 10 years since then and till now I haven't had a single friend who was a smoker.

Met a few people here and there, but always avoided them and stayed away from them.

So if you're a smoker and you're reading this

I know you guys are just trying to look cool or something

maybe your excuse is that you are addicted or that all your friends smoke

maybe your excuse is that you have always smoked or that you don't drink so you have to smoke

you probably hate non smokers and don't care what i think

but now it's out there

I've had to take your smoke for almost 20 years

I've said what I think of you people

now all that's left is asking you to stay away from me

take your carcinogenic fumes somewhere else

because I've had enough of them

and I've had enough of you