People share Some negative stuff or comment, What they ate, many things that are not real and have no possitive Influence or Relevance In our lives (deadool, batman, celebrities), vanity/ego Related stuff, Or something that they like and they want you to like as well so that they can Get Reassurance from others.
This Is just an example but Negative emotions can arise every day, at anytime and for many reasons, How can we take Advantage of This and use this negative emotions To improve ourselves and strengthen our spiritual practice:
1) Understanding that it's Perfectly normal that this negative emotions Arise. Good thoughts and bad thoughts Come and go all the time Inside our minds. That is the nature of human mind and there is no Reason to feel guilty Or punish ourselves for having negative thoughts. So feel free to feel Sad, angry, stressed or frustrated. Otherwise you will end up feeling stressed about being stressed, and then feeling stressed about being stressed about being stressed, and so on. It's better to feel stressed just once, understanding that this too will pass and embracing the freedom that Comes with that understanding.
2) Understanding The suffering we cause to ourselves and to others When we try to control stuff. I cannot control my thoughts, Facebook or my friends But i can control my attitude towards them.
3) Understanding the real reason why they post those stuff and i post this stuff is because of causes and effects, We are all conditioned By many different Variables and none of us is in Full control of our actions or our thoughts.
4) Understanding we are all in different Stages in our lives, Some people are looking to be entertained or numbing their minds with Art or technology, Some are seeking Sensual pleasures, Some are seeking physical experiences, others look to aquire Material wealth while Others seek Intelectual materialism, and some are looking for peace, happiness and contentment within their own minds. It's okay that we are all in different paths and i shouldn't expect others To be on the same path as me, If our paths cross along the way that's great if they don't that's also great.
5) Understanding that suffering comes from expecting From life something it cannot give us. If i expect to be Inspired by facebook i'm gonna get disappointed, if expected to have Only happy and peaceful thoughts I'm gonna get disappointed when negative thoughts come and that will lead to suffering.
6) Understanding that it's okay for me to get frustrated or annoyed, I'm not perfect and i don't need to be, as long as i try To understand the thought processes that go behind Suffering and freedom That's already a small step towards the right direction. We will get there eventually, When we stop worrying about getting there. when we set peace, happiness and understanding as a long term goal instead of a Short term achievement every small step counts. And even if we don't get there What matters is that we gave it our very best.
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For example even though i've been teaching for several years i don't consider myself a teacher, i'm just a person who works as a teacher, But i had many other jobs before teaching, and will have many different ones in the future. if i say i'm a teacher that means i can only work as a teacher And i would be closing the doors to many other things i would like or would need to do in the future.
Even though i don't usually eat meat And try to avoid dairy products i don't consider myself a vegan or a vegetarian, Because there are some situations where you just can't choose Or you don't have any money And you eat whatever people give you, In some other sItuation is better to eat the meat than to seeing it go to waste, And if i see the chickens running free and happily i wouldn't think twice about eating their eggs. And in most cases it would be Much more beneficial for The animals and the environment if i just eat whatever has been already Discarded by society (dumpster diving) Than having all these specially Made vegan Products produced and transported just for me to eat them. But if i were a vegan or a vegetarian I would have to respect my ethical code even though my instincts and common sense tell me otherwise And i would be closing the doors To the fact that ethics are not as black and white as vegans see them.
Even though i don't believe in god Or the paranormal i can not Call myself an atheist Because that would mean closing the door To a lot of amazing stuff. For example about 80% of buddhist teachings Are practical things that i can apply in my daily life To be happier, improve my life and the lives of others. The other 20% are the outdated stuff, How does karma work? MAGIC! how does reincarnation works? MAGIC! So there's no way i could close the door to that 80% of Amazing stuff I really need just because earlier in life I had decided to label myself as an atheist.
And even christianity Has a lot of amazing stuff if you really Get into IT, Like art, poetry, philosophy But IT all gets obfuscated By the dark side of Christianity, The bigotry, the racism, the pedophilia, the corruption, etc. During my trips I have been hosted and helped by so many christians, Specially in australia, in korea and in the philippines, But if i said i am an atheist that would automatically put me against them And i would be closing the door to A lot of great experiences from the ones i could really benefit from.
By the same token there are no criminals in prison, There are just people who commited crimes. There are no murders or thieves there are people who have murdered and people who have stolen.
There are people who made mistakes, There are people who were desperate, People who did what they could under the circumstances And people who felt prey Of a corrupt system Based on scarcity, Competition and inequality, But if we choose to label them as criminals We're closing the doors to forgiveness and understanding.
There are no crazy people, there are people who have mental Problems, And if we decide to label them as schizophrenic, paranoid or bipolar We are closing the doors To the healing process That can arise from focusing on the sane part of that person Instead of the sick one.
By not labeling ourselves and others We are allowing a deeper thought process to take place, In the one we can sincerely understand and accept each other, Understand ourselves and accepting that responsibility That comes along with understanding.
The responsibility of dealing more kindly with one another.
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The used tell me there is something wrong with me, now they say i'm Good enough .
They used to say i shouldn't do/say this, now they say "ok, let's see what happens".
They used to be very noisy when i was trying to sleep or meditate, Now they keep quiet and help me concentrate on the task at hand
They used to say i can't do it, now they say you HAVE to do it.
They used To tell me to worry about something that has happened before or will maybe happen in the future, Now they remind me to be here right now.
They used to tell me i should be doing or thinking something, Now they're happy to just be here with me.
The used to say it's not good to be alone, now they say they are my best friends And I'll never be alone again.
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We are all conditioned by our environment, by our thoughts, by our upbringing, by our level of awareness, by our education, by our experiences, by the way in that we see the world, by the way we see ourselves and by some other variables.
If we understand this we can see it's not actually their fault but there are always many factors in play.
If we are still stuck with the fault finding mind, we could rearrange the facts to fit our personal views, for example we could use their upbringing as an excuse to blame their parents, friends or teachers, we could blame the government by saying they shouldn't allow people to behave that way, we could blame their environment or society as a whole and say they acted that way because of social conditioning and that way we could blame tv, advertisements, the economy, the media, the politicians or anything we don't like for all the problems in our life and in the world.
But Once we start to understand how conditioning really works we can see past this fault finding mentality and we can understand why people are and act in certain ways that create suffering and inconveniences to people around them.
And it's much easier to understand and forgive them if they offended us in some way and understand and forgive ourselves as well for some mistakes we may have made in the past.
if we want to take it a step further we could use also try to understand the idea of the non-self, that there is nothing inside us besides those things that are a product of causes and conditions.
And going even further we could detach from the self and the fault finding mind, train ourselves and reflect on this in a way that through understanding we can apply this ideas to create a powerful positive effect that will improve our lives and the lives of those around us.
Thank you for reading.
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Then you feel terrible, some time goes by, you think about what you did wrong and tell yourself you wont be making the same mistakes again in your next relationship.
Next relationship comes and sure thing you end up making the same mistake and so on.
To get out of this loop we need to do 3 things, the first one is to stop being control freaks.
We try to control our relationship, control our partner and control ourselves. And that just leads us to suffering and dissapointment.
Once you stop tring to control everything you can move on to the next step.
Which is learning to love yourself as you are, appreciate all the good things you do and say every day. And then love your partner in the same way.
And The third one is to stop expecting so much from ourselves, our partner and our relationship, lower your expectations or better yet have no epectations at all and you'll never be dissapointed.
We expect our partners to be perfect, get dissapointed when we find out they are not, and then we want to break up
We expect our relationships to be always harmonious, fun and successful, and then get dissapointed to find no relationship is perfect
But It doesnt mater if you succeded or not in your relationship in the long run, it matters that you succeded in trying and that you gave it your very best.
It's not always going to work out the way you want it to, people change, circunstances change.
But you had a great time, loved and learned a lot from each other, and that's much more important than any mistake you or they may have made.
Thank you for reading.
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There is an art about doing Nothing and not feeling guilty about it, Because people usually want to make you feel guilty if you do nothing.
To the point where we are not human beings anymore, We're human doers, Human goers, human thinkers.
We're always doing something, going somewhere, thinking about something.
Why not just being for change? And if people ask you what are you doing You can say you're just watching the trees grow, And you can't move because if you move you may miss it.
We feel like we don't own our life anymore, Other people own it, We do, think and say things just because other people want us to. Or because we think they do.
But how many people you know that just want you to be happy? don't want you to be someone, Have something, do something.
I do. So that's at least one person.
That's why My dream is to be a pilgrim, a wanderer, a vagrant, and just walk, Not trying to be Someone or something, Getting rid of the self, getting rid of the me, the I and the mine. And just being.
You know, just walking and enjoying freedom, Not having to worry about where will you sleep tonight, or What will you eat, What other people think of you Or what you think of yourself.
Being the sole owner of my life and thoughts.
I have worked, thought and done enough in my life, so now It's time for peace.
Walking all around south america With my dog, You know left looks nice so we can go left, If right looks better we go right, Or we could just stay here, they're all good options.
Just walking and enjoying the view, Not having to get anywhere or accomplish anything anymore.
And if people ask us where are we going we can say we're just walking.
Mc Fly says latin america is very dangerous, But i think it's ok, we have to die Sometime anyway, we better die happy, doing something we like.
Whatever the consequences are we have to do what we have to do, So that we have no regrets in our death bed, Because In the end it doesn't really matter if we live or die what's important is that we are proud of how we lived.
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That means every time You're in public You have to smile to everyone, They want to shake your hand, they want to take pictures with you, and asking the same questions over and over again
It's a surreal experience really, Could be fun for a few weeks But its definITely Not fun to live like that, You see them pointing at you, you hear them whispering, and it's super creepy when they follow you home and stalk you
They always look at you very deep in the eyes, its an extremely personal interaction
And that led me to hide my eyes under a cap Or sunglasses For a very long time because i was afraid of that extreme intimacy You have to offer to everyone Every day and everywhere you go.
And i have asked myself what would be the most compassionate way to behave towards myself and towards them In this kind of situations
It is an extremely shallow interaction, In the one they are only interested in you because of your image And that leads me to ask myself If i'm just a monkey Or clown that is here to amuse people so they can take pictures with me
Or do i have anything else to offer the world besides my image?
They don't speak any english because of course they don't, So there's no chance of any meaningful interaction And they are not aware that the same questions they want to ask me i have answered them at least a few dozen times this week
What i learned from all of this Is that The way i react to this kind of Situations has a very high effect on my spiritual practice
To be completely honest people in china are just super annoying and gross And they go out the way to make you feel uncomfortable, They smoke in the elevator, stare at you all the time, They spit and relieve themselves everywhere, They are super loud, and all of that actually helps me To be a better person.
I am not the one disturbed by the noise, i am the one disturbing the noise. I am not the one being disturbed by the smoke, i am the one disturbing the smoke
That's just the way china is, it has always been like that and it will always be like that, and There is nothing i can do about it, but it's the way i react to it that makes the whole difference
I could either get annoyed by those things and be unhappy Or i could understand that that's just the way life is, And i could go with the flow, have a laugh and have a good time with them, I know they're all nice people deep inside, Sure they're not perfect, they have their quirks, but there are good enough
It's when we try to control things that We create suffering, We try to control ourselves, to control others, To control china, To control the situation
China is not perfect, no place is.
Our planet is not perfect, People are not perfect, I am not perfect, and life is not perfect, There will always be problems and inconveniences everywhere we look
It's my choice to Focus on the good or on the bad things i see Every day. Yes chinese people still smoke in the hospitals and that annoys me, But they also do a million nice things for me
Some of them wake up at four in the morning to start making the fillings for the Mushroom steamed buns i will eat for breakfast, An old lady works the whole night cleaning the park where i will go for a run, Another old man stands the whole day in a crowded polluted and noisy street selling bananas that i will buy, And the list goes on and on. And i am extremely grateful to all of them
We suffer when we expect from life something it cannot give us.
Dogs bark, Babies cry, and chinese are terribly Loud, dirty and obnoxious, but kind deep inside and That is the intrinsic nature of things
Dogs bark, babies cry and bruce posts some cheap phylosophical reflexions Disguised in what it could have appeard to be just another rant about china, But in the end it wasn't, In the end it was nice
Thank you for reading
After spending a few years in europe I was still feeling empty inside so I thought well, maybe If i move to asia everything will be better there.
Few years in asia went by and nothing had really changed So i thought ok, once i go to australia THEN i could be in peace and happy.
After a year in australia i realized I wasn't happy there either, so i needed to go back to asia where there were still a few countries i hadn't been to And could start a new and exciting Life somewhere.
After a few more years in asia I was somehow still not happy, So decided i have to move to new zealand, THERE I will find financial and emotional stability.
And I did! I had finally found what i'd been looking for, Oh wait... no i didn't, new zealand sucked ass for me, I lost all the money i had and came back to asia because it's always easier to find a job here.
It's been three years since NZ, And even though this story is an oversimplification and a million adventures went on in between, I'm guessing you understand What i'm trying to say
Now i live in a tiny one bedroom apartment In a backwards chinese city, I sleep on the floor next my dog and use my jumper as a pillow. I have no job, not much money, no career nor any material stuff.
What i do have though, is a message to transmit, And the means to convey it in a way everyone can understand it. We don't need big words To express big emotions.
I know what you're thinking right now, Peace and happiness come from within And they don't depend on the place where you are, the things you have or the experiences you had.
And you would be right to think that way of course. But Most people reading this already know, that more means less, we can only be happy once we stop craving Things and experiences and all that hippie stuff. But There is much more to it all.
Throughout the years i Had read many books On how to be happy and peaceful and had tried Different meditation styles or retreats, like tibetan or theravada buddhism, vipassana, And they all worked well for a while and gave me a temporary boost that could last for a few days or a few weeks. And after that i started feeling miserable again, Because i was trying to force all this knowledge, understanding and techniques When i just Wasn't ready for it yet.
I was trying to force myself to be peaceful and happy In the same way that people on facebook try to impose Their views and interests on others.
Instead of allowing myself to just be, I kept getting stressed and upset at myself for not being good enough. For not being kind enough. for not being peaceful enough. For not being happy enough. And guess what, that just created more suffering.
how can i be happy if i think there is something wrong with me? If i think i'm too fat or too slim, Or i'm not smart enough, Or not experienced enough or Haven't traveled enough, or i think i'm not peaceful enough, Or i feel lonely, Or i want to Make myself feel bad for some mistakes i made in the past.
And i would end up blaming myself for all the problems in this world as well. The animals are still suffering because maybe i'm not vegan enough, The environment suffers because i'm not freegan enough And i waste too many resources, The people suffer because i don't Go to enough protests to stop the governments from making people suffer and people around me suffer because i'm not kind enough to them.
And guess what, taking all the blame didn't help either. All these years i WAS good enough and i WAS doing my best. I just couldn't see it because of a lack of understanding. Lack of wisdom to be more accurate.
When we want to feel bad We will find a way, and when we want to feel like we are the victims Of an unfair world or system We will find a way to Accommodate the facts To fit our own conjectures and views.
How can i be happy if i don't love and accept myself. If i don't appreciate all the good things i do, and keep on Focusing on the bad ones.
Now, i am not claiming to be enlightened or having all the answers, I just want to share my experiences in hope that someone will find them useful.
I don't need any prize or praise, That's why i like this blog That we can set it up to no advertisements So as not to inconvenience the readers.
And if i were to die tomorrow you will know exactly what i was thinking and feeling.
At the same time i got to a point in my life Where i stopped thinking 'maybe i shouldn't say that', Instead i'd think 'okay let's see what happens'
And is this commitment to honesty and truth the one that allows me to be writing this right now.
It allows me to be honest with myself, to understand what i really think and feel and why, and being able to share it with the world.
I am a simple person that maybe in his arrogance Truly believes he has found a meaning to it all.
It has found Its purpose in life, To serve, to be happy and to help others Find happiness By sharing with them The means, and thought processes i Found useful myself.
I am, after all, a scientist at heart, don't believe in any new age of magic kind of stuff.
What i do believe in is truth, understanding And the idea that only you are in charge of your thoughts emotions and feelings.
And whatever it is you think it's preventing you from being happy It could be seen with a different light if you so choose to.
It is said that overthinking is the Major cause of unhappiness and depression, In this case the opposite can be said as well.
Over thinking can be the way to see things more deeply And understanding you have everything you need to be happy. And every reason for it as well.
A good starting point Could be to be kind towards your body.
I used to be the person Who would sit Down for two hours In the same position trying to Meditate, Until my back And my legs would hurt.
Without knowing it, I was being aggressive to my body. Trying to find peace through violence.
That's Just one of the many mistakes i made And intend to share with you all So that maybe Together, we can come one step closer to being (and feeling) better.
Thank you for reading.
Bruce
Question: "Have you eaten?"
Right answer: "Yes, you?
Wrong answer: "No, not yet"
Very wrong answer: " No, unlike the Chinese, we don't need to eat at a specific time of the day, we can just eat when we are hungry"
Comment: " Let's go out to play"
Right answer: "Play? You mean hang out? Sure, let's do it"
Wrong answer: "What do you mean by "play"?"
Very wrong answer: "Sure, what do you want to play? Football? Basketball?"
Comment: "My English is not good"
Right answer: "Don't worry, I can understand what you say"
Wrong answer: "Try singing more English songs in KTV?"
Very wrong answer: "Well, you only learned English for like what? 15, 20 years?"
Question: "Don't you miss your family?"
Right answer: "Yes, of course, I call them every day and I go to see them twice a year"
Wrong answer: " I haven't talked to them in a couple of years, I'm not sure what they're up to"
Very wrong answer: "No"
Comment: " Eat more! Eat more! Drink more! Drink more! Ganbei! Bottoms up!"
Right answer: "Ok, ok, thank you!"
Wrong answer: "I can't, I'm full"
Very wrong answer: "No"
Comment: "We are friends now, ok?"
Right answer: "Yes, of course"
Wrong answer: "Means I'm in the friendzone already?"
Very wrong answer: "Oh, come on, we met like 5 minutes ago, why do you guys all have to be so needy?"
Question: "Why are you here? why aren't you in Beijing or shanghai?"
Right answer: "I'm going to Beijing tomorrow and to shanghai right after that"
Wrong answer: "Here is nice, you know that's the way life is, some people are here some people are there, we can't all be in Beijing or shanghai all the time"
Very wrong answer: "Why would I want to go to one of the most polluted and dirtiest cities in the world, where everyone one wants to cheat me because I look different while there are like a million nicer places to be in china"
Comment: "You can do this, you can do that, you can buy this, you can buy that, you can go here, you can go there"
Right answer: "That's great, I'll do it"
Wrong answer: "Ok, I'll think about it"
Very wrong answer: "You know in English you can't just go around telling people what they can or can not do, they usually already know and don't need your permission, for example there's no need to say "you can stay in a hotel" or "you can take a taxi" because we are actually already aware of the existence of hotels and taxis, we just can't afford them"
Question: "Do you have a girlfriend?"
Right answer: "Yes"
Wrong answer: "No"
Very wrong answer: "well, hmm… how to explain… do you know what hentai is?"
