Make Love to the Backpacker

NOOOOOOOOO!!! 

That's what I always hear in my mind when someone asks me "are you traveling?" or they say "oh, you don't work, so you are traveling here".

I started disliking the word traveling, because I feel that if I travel i can't live. Don't want to be a traveler, can't live up to that.  
 

So I spend too much time trying not to look like this:

And avoiding words like: exploring, traveling, backpacking, vagabond, around the world, world trip.

Because I can't live up to that, it's too much pressure, too much responsibility, I don't want to be a world traveler, I just want to be myself, i want to be modest, I want to be at the same level as everyone else and overall don't want anyone to look up to me.

I don't want to carry a big backpack with me, it looks ridiculous, I feel silly, feel stupid, feel vulnerable, my back hurts, everyone would look at me. 

I want to blend in with the locals just want to be one of them.

I don't want them to see me as this person who comes from a distant land, this person who has lots of money to come here and brings all his expensive gear and gadgets in his massive backpack.

And how come I need so many things anyway? What should I do with them? And why should I carry them around? It doesn't make sense. 

I always try too hard not to be like someone else that I forget to be myself.

I always tell myself, backpacks are stupid, just a trend, you don't need one, you should be different, you can improvise and use things you find around, you don't need to carry many things with you. 

You should be like mc gyver or bear grills, i tell myself, you should eat insects and survive in the wild without a backpack, because you've been spoiled for too long, because you are better than them, you gotta prove them, gotta prove yourself that you don't need anything or anyone. gotta challenge yourself, gotta do something that hasn't been done before, gotta be hardcore.

I wish I could be myself without criticizing others though, and without caring about them carrying a big bag or doing silly things.

I should be myself despite the world, despite what others may think or what I would think of them.

I should be myself despite what I think of myself. Ok, that doesn't make any sense, but maybe I should get a huge backpack and carry it around so I learn to be more tolerant with the people around me and can understand them more, so I stop being such a prick and believing I'm better than them for not having a big bag and not needing as many things as they.

From now on I will embrace 

the backpacker and his friends

I'll come running from afar  

just to to give them cereal bar.

I'll help them with their bags

give them water and supplies 

cook for them when they feel sad

or at least will get take out.

I will make sure they are feeling fine

with no worries on their minds

and make sure they get to find

themselves in madagascar.

I make sure they'll get good price

and don't get the body lice. 

I don't want them to get thrashed

nor I want them to feel sad.

I'll make sure they're not in pain

and they eat their Special K

make sure they don't get in trouble

and can always find their way

Lets meet up next month in Laos

says backpacker at the bar

why not going to Macau

the casinos are not far  

I think I'll kiss a backpacker 

and take care of him or her

I may even write a poem 

a poem for my new friend

I really like the backpacker

from the backpacker hotel

they are super cool and awesome

not like a rodent

I will have a beer with them

at their backpacker hotel 

then we'll talk about their travels 

(they've been here and they've been there)

I'll borrow their lonely planet

and take a picture with them

we'll stay up all night together

and watch the amanecer

We'll sing "hotel california"

or maybe they know "hey jude"

it's not like I have a phobia 

and it's not like I'm a prude

Then I'll think that in some way, 

I'm pretty much the same as them 

so I'll make love to backpacker

at the backpacker hotel.