Whatever 11

Religious person: have you heard about jesus christ?

friend 2: Dude.. this is 2012. Jesus? really???

Bruno: Actually no, we haven't, come in please have a seat, would you like some tea?

Religious person: Tea would be great, thank you.

Bruno: Alright.

Religious person: Jesus is the son of god, our lord and savior, he died for your sins.

He died for you and he loves you.

friend 2: But you know he was not a real person and never really existed, right?

Bruno: Here's your tea, have some cookies.

Religious person: He was a real person, he was the son of god and he existed, it's written in the bible.

friend 2: But you know the bible is a work of fiction, not a history book, right?

Bruno: A work of fiction that contains a great deal of morality, poetry, art, rhyme and fantastic stories.

Religious person: It's history, it was written by people who could talk to god and he instructed them to write it.

friend 2: it was written by people who imagined, they could talk to god, and imagined he instructed them to write it.

Bruno: Imagination is a fantastic gift, only gifted people can tell stories and transmit all their feelings directly to the reader, books are windows to other worlds.

Religious person: God loves you, he created our planet and he created us, he's all powerful and knows it all, he's watching you right now.

friend 2: And you know you are saying all of that because you were born in south korea, after the 1950's, but if you had been born in india, you would be saying the same about krishna or shiva, if you had been born in saudi arabia you would be saying the same about alah, if you had been born in ancient greece, you would  be saying the same about zeus, if you had been born in ancient egypt, you would be saying the same about osiris, if you had been born in ancient sumeria you would be saying the same about enki or utu.... and so on.

Bruno: and if you had been born in north korea you would be saying the same about kim jong il

Religious person: There is only one god, the christian god, all the other religions are wrong, all the other gods are not real.

friend 2: That's what all the religions say, so how can we know you are telling the truth and they are not?

Bruno: How can we know you are a real human?

Religious person: because I'm telling the truth, I know I am.

friend 2: So do they.

Religious person: But they are wrong and I am right.

friend 2: What makes you so confident?

Bruno: Anthropocentrism.

Religious person: If you don't believe in god, when you die you will go to hell, you can start believing now and you will go to heaven.

Bruno: sounds legit.

friend 2: just because you say it, i will go to a fictional place, from a fictional book that just some koreans and filipinos care about, great.

Bruno: Actually you WILL go to hell, in his imagination.

friend 2: You should know that religions are just another tool for social control, like television or advertisement.

Bruno: Or facebook.

Religious person: Why don't you guys come to our church on sunday morning?

friend 2: Because we have a brain.

Religious person: We serve free lunch.

Bruno: We're in.

Religious person: Great then, see you this sunday.

friend 2: No way, we're not gonna trade our souls for free lunch, we can get free lunch at many other places. 

Bruno: Actually by believing there's such a thing as "the soul", you have already given away your sanity, so why not just going all the way?

Religious person: There's a soul, it weights 21 grams and you can learn more about it on sunday morning.

friend 2: Why 21 grams? 

Bruno: That's like, so random!

Religious person: Thank you for the tea, but I should get going now, see you guys on sunday then?

Bruno: Yes, we'll be there.

friend 2: No way.

Bruno: Have a nice day and thank you for your visit.

Religious person: Have a nice day yourself.

friend 2: Whatever.