The bus is late

I took a bus from Penang to KL today, and when I bought the ticket I asked “what time will it arrive in KL, they said “maybe 7 pm”.
 

Then I thought “why, why did I ask that?” It was force of habit because, it’s not like I have anything else to do today. So there’s actually no substantial difference if it arrives at 6,8,9 or 10 PM instead. the fact that i had no problems or deadlines was enough for me to look for something to worry about. like what time will the bus arrive.

I’ve been in asia long enough to know that 7pm can either mean 8pm, 9pm, 10pm, and so on, depending on the country.

And actually I’m grateful to know that’s the way things work around here, people teach me patience every day, they are my teachers every day. 

They teach me to relax, to let things flow, understand that I don’t have control and things just happen the way they happen. 

Especially in India. Where you can sometimes be up to a few days waiting for a train that’s delayed and people just relax, eat, sleep and play cards at the station waiting for the train that may or may not come, someday.

They don’t riot, they don’t fill out a complaint or ask to talk to the manager, they just wait.

 Some years ago when I arrived in Asia for the first time and didn’t yet understand how things work so I would get stressed, get pissed and complain that the bus or train was late.

But I’m a totally different person now, mostly thanks to the experiences in India and SE Asia. If the bus is late or doesn’t come I would think “whatever, there must be another one, in one hour, or tomorrow, or next week, it doesn’t really make any difference” 

I can be more like the Indians laughing and sharing food while waiting, they understood It’s about the trip, not about the destination, and now, so do I.

Saying Thank You

Its hard to describe with words what i felt this morning at the clinic when one of my patients,
after i finished patching him up, stood up, put his hand on my shoulder, looked at me in the eyes and said:
"thanks for looking after me, and the other patients out there, you guys are doing a great job"

he said that even though, i knew, he was in pain, and had been bleeding out at the waiting room for almost 3 hours while waiting for his turn.
He knew we were doing the best we can, I saw it in his eyes and I appreciate that.

Got the same feeling, sometimes while teaching, after the class some students will say "thank you for your lesson, it was great"
they knew I had spend a long hours preparing it and I looked up the material I knew it would be interesting to them.

or in australia, while driving the bus, it actually meant a lot for me that the passengers went that extra mile (not literally), before getting off, and said "thank you driver", it made me feel proud of being their driver.

and while I'm cooking at the stall, once a customer said to me "that was a great meal, thanks a lot for that"
he was just being polite, but for me it meant a lot more than that.



a sincere  gratefulness can go a long way into making someone's day a joyful one.
 


so don't forget to do your best at being polite and giving your best compliment to those that take care of you or make your life easier.

also to those one's who don't, specially to those ones who don't, so you can learn forgiveness and understanding also.
so, thank you so much for reading this and let's practice being grateful to everyone today!

A place to call home

Friend 1: dont you ever miss home?

Bruno: i don't know, define home.

Friend 1: well the place you grew up, or or where your parents are

Bruno: but the place i grew up or where my parents are never really felt like home, so why should i call it home?

Friend 1: well because, that's what most people call home.

Bruno: but that would be living in the past, and I have the theory that the past doesnt really exist, its fake, just an illusion we create with our imagination and it exists only in our minds, same as the future.
there's just here and now, so home is this place I'm staying at now, why would I miss it if I'm already here?

Friend 1: but most people feel like they need to belong somewhere and have somewhere to come back to, don't you feel like that sometimes?

Bruno: that doesn't make much sense, why would i want to belong somewhere if i can belong everywhere instead.

Friend 1: If you belong everywhere, the place you grew up wont feel special anymore.

Bruno: true, but you can make every place feel special, it's up to us what we consider special or not.

Friend 1: but most people need a place to call home.

Bruno: so, if most people eat horse dung, I should eat it as well, just because everyone else does?

Friend 1: well, yeah, that's why we usually do stuff, because everyone else does it, and that's how we've been doing it for centuries.

Bruno: i can understand that, customs, rituals, traditions, do we really need that?

Friend 1: yes

Bruno: what for?

Friend 1: to have a sense of identity, a sense of belonging to a place and to a culture.

Bruno: but the outcome of having a sense of  belonging to a place and a culture will be that you will not be allowed to see other people who belong to different cultures than yours as equals to you.
countries, religions, ethnicities, social status and possitions will only prevent you from seeing that actually we are all the same everywhere.
and will make you justify acts of violence agains people of the "different culture" such as terrorism, explitation, racism, just because they are "different"

Friend 1: ok, i see where you're getting at, is this another government conspiracy to keep us on a tight leash and justify whatever acts of violence they decide to engage on?

Bruno: not really, before we made up the nation states, like 200 years ago, we always swore loyalty to some king, god or emperor. basically any excuse we can come up with to kill one another and take over our land and resources, because we didn't knwo anything better, now we do.

Friend 1: yes, what is that? some utopian future where we all love each other and are kind to each other?

Bruno: yes

Friend 1: cool

Kind of people I would like to hang out with

Would accept: Someone who is not texting, calling or checking their cellphones every 5 minutes.

Ideally: someone who doesn’t have a cellphone.

Would accept: someone who doesn’t smoke in front of me or in public spaces.

Ideally: someone who doesn’t smoke at all.

Would accept: someone who doesn’t get easily offended by delicate subjects or differences of opinions.

Ideally: someone who never gets offended by anything.

Would accept: someone who prefers cheap places to hang out. (street food stalls, videogame arcades,)

Ideally: someone who prefers free places to hang out. (library, park, someone’s place)

Would accept: someone who’s not in a rush, have no curfew and can spare a few days to hang out.

Ideally: someone who has no deadline whatsoever and can spare a few months to hang out.

Note: even though I really like being by myself, I must admit that the best times I’ve had were hanging out with the same people non stop for a few weeks or months.

Would accept: someone who I can play board games or videogames with.

Ideally: someone I can play RPG’s with.

Would accept: someone who doesn’t watch TV.

Ideally: someone who doesn’t own a TV.

Would accept: Someone who I can talk to about science and politics.

Ideally: someone who will listen to me for hours mumble about science or ranting on politics.

Would accept: Someone quiet, who's comfortable with silence.

Ideally: someone that will understand me without using words.

Would accept: Someone that says what they think and not what other people expect them to say.
Ideally: someone who can criticize me without being afraid of hurting my feelings or offending me.

saying thank you (before editing)

Its hard to describe with words what i felt this morning at the clinic when one of my patients,
after i finished patching him up, stood up, put his hand on my shoulder, looked at me in the eyes and said:
"thanks for looking after me, and the other patients out there, you guys are doing a great job"

he said that even though, i knew, he was in pain, and had been bleeding out at the waiting room for almost 3 hours while waiting for his turn.
He knew we were doing the best we can, I saw it in his eyes and I appreciate that.

Got the same feeling, sometimes while teaching, after the class some students will say "thank you for your lesson, it was great"
they knew I had spend a long hours preparing it and I looked up the material I knew it would be interesting to them.

or in australia, while driving the bus, it actually meant a lot for me that the passengers went that extra mile (not literally), before getting off, and said "thank you driver", it made me feel proud of being their driver.

and while I'm cooking at the stall, once a customer said to me "that was a great meal, thanks a lot for that"
he was just being polite, but for me it meant a lot more than that.



a sincere  greatfullness can go a long way into making someone's day a joyfull one.
 


so don't forget to do your best at being polite and giving your best compliment to those that take care of you or make your life easier.

also to those one's who don't, specially to those ones who dont, so you can learn forgivness and understanding also.

and while we are at it why not going to indonesia to thank all the sweat factory workers who work
for 2 dolars a day so you can have your nike or branded goods that you dont need, or how about going to africa and thank all the children that work as
slaves to bring you the chocolate or to visit the chinese slaves that ensemble your iphone and all those gadgets.

you are either part of the problem or part of the solution.

you have 2 options

option 1: stop spending money on things you don't need, stop supporting governemts and corporations in their exploitative agendas and join the local movements agains income inequality

http://www.occupytogether.org/

or.. option 2: close this tab, pretend you didn't read this and move along with your daily routine.

either way, it's up to you.

About Couchsurfing 1

Life before Couchsurfing, for me, was totally different that it is now.

Like for most people, it took everything to a total different level, changed my perspective and opened up doors I didn’t even know were there.

What is couchsurfing? couchsurfing.com is a website for cultural and hospitality exchange in the one you can meet people and stay at their places for free.

But people who’ve used it before know it’s not about saving money, especially in countries where a hotel is like one dollar, it’s about the people you meet, what you learn from them and the experiences you have.

And an idea, the brilliant idea that lets us escape the monetary system and consumerism most of us are caught up into.

Best things in life are for free and we can just help people out without expecting anything in exchange.

Same happens when you’re hitchhiking, the idea is also there, the Idea that someone will let you into their cars and give you a ride, just to help you out.

And on my particular experience, I was brave enough to leave my comfort zone, thanks to the people I met in Germany in 2007, specially thanks to my guests.

Thanks to them I learned among many things that:

-    * It’s ok just to receive sometimes and I don’t need to feel guilty for not giving anything in exchange.

-    * You don’t need money to travel, money is just an excuse we use for not doing what we want, same as saying: it’s too cold, too hot, I’m too young, too old, and so on and
there are 1001 ways to make money without working, or in case you don't  like money (makes your hands dirty?) there are 1001 ways to live without it.

* Everyone’s kind everywhere, you just need to give them a chance to prove it.

* The concept of private property is as counterproductive as it is outdated, and the childlish idea that “this is mine and this is yours” just holds us back from from the true human nature that it’s to be kind and compassionate to each other and share everything we have, if there’s no private property we all own everything and we are all rich.

* The world is smaller than you think and everyone know someone who know someone everywhere.

relaxation

I usually have problems relaxing, same as most people. I think we all have problems and if we don't we just make some up.


most people's problems revolve around their jobs, careers, school, studies, money, friends, family, house, the future and the past.


mines are a bit different, i worry about things that are happening at this same moment in a different place that i consider unfair, worry about what to do in the future, the meaning of life and my existence, I get puzzled by the universe, global problems, the animals, the environment, overpopulation, lack of food, water and energy, my health, politics, the revolution and many other stuff, I, for some reason, feel like i have to take care of.



and those issues prevent me from relaxing and enjoying the moment.



So, there's an exercise I like to practice sometimes, it consists on laying in bed for like an hour or more, stretching like a cat, tossing and turning, staring at the ceiling and remind myself that:


- I don't need to take care of those stuff and if i don't someone else will.

- I'm still young, handsome, smart and healthy.

- No one really cares much about me, and If i just lay in bed the whole day no one would even notice or if I lay in bed the whole year probably no one would care either.

- If i die today it will take at least a few weeks before someone finds out (that's how important I am)

- I'm still free, to choose the life I want, free to think, say and do do whatever I want, go wherever, whenever, or just using that freedom to stay in bed stretching like the cat.

- I don't need to account myself for anything i do, I dont need to go to work tomorrow, nor next week nor next year and I don't need to accomplish or achieve anything anymore.

- I'm not Jack Bauer and there are no terrorist attacks to prevent. Just stretching is ok.


- I've done enough already so now it's time for me to relax!

issues with big groups

damn! why is it so hard for me to fit in a group?

the only times i ever had a group of friends that i can remember, it was in argentina, 2 other guys and me, yeah, that's a group. because its more than 2 people, and we seldom talked, we just played videogames.

after that i made a few good friends, but never had a group to hang out with, I really tried though.

I've been to many countries and in mosts of them, I tried to fit in with countless different groups of people, including: punks, squatters, heavy metal fans, RPG groups, vegans, vegetarians, hardcore fans, sXe's, surfers, hippies, budhists, are khrisnas, skeptics, office workers, homeless, english teachers, rock climbers, students, scientists, backpackers, engineers, and sometimes even unemployed bums like myself.

but failed miserably every single time. never got to hang out on the same group for more than a few weeks.


It seems my personality re-shapes itself to become the opposite of what the group is. In a pointless act of rebellion.

So the reason why I couldnt fit in any group, is because everytime i am on one, i become everything the group hates.


so even though i totally agree with the group ideas i would somehow find a way to challenge them in an obnoxious arrogant way that makes me an asshole in front of the group, for some reason.



why I do that? I have no idea!!!
 

i do have a few theories though. one of them is that I like being the center of attention and if i think the same as everyone else in the group i would go unnoticed.

other one is that I cant keep up with social pressure, and most groups of friends they expenct you to act on a certain way, dress, think, talk on a certain way, go to places and keep in touch. and for me is just too much pressure the idea of "having" to do something because its the norm and everyone else does it.

other theory is that maybe i just dont like groups, and i feel more confortable by myself or with just one person by my side

usually someone weak, that I can control and influence and will never outsmart me or put me down, so i keep being the brightest star and feeding my selfish ego.

that's how manipulative I am. or maybe not.

maybe i haven't yet found a group of friends that's adequate for me.

i dont actually quite understand why i do that, yet, keep pushing people away from me. and when they try to keep in touch I'd just ignore them or act coldly.


I was hanging out with backpackers a few days ago. and they were using words like "chillaxed" and "explore" and carrying a big backpack on their back and a smaller one on their chest, lonely planet guide books, cameras, and stopping to take pictures every 5 minutes. for some reason that made me uneasy and made me feel like i didnt belong with them, because they were very different from me.

but actually they are just nice and positive guys, trying to have a good time, same as me, I have no rational reason whatsoever to dislike them. and they are usually kind to me.

I tend to focus on the differences I have with others instead of the similarities. but even if they had been clones of me, and think exactly like me. i would have surely found a reason to dislike them.


 so, that's one more thing for me to work on, trying to appreciate the similarities i have with people, try to join a big group, and stay on it.

Ideas 3: Energy

free, clean, renewable, unlimited energy should our main objective right now, not just for the environment, for our health and for the economy, but  for our inner peace and relaxation also.

imagine how silent the cities will be, with all the cars hovering smoothly.

imagine all the sounds we are missing, from the birds and animals, from the wind and trees, the rain and the rivers.

imagine silence.

last time I had total peace and silence it was more than 15 months ago. how is that possible?

how can we focus and relax our mind with all that noise drilling around all day and all night.

we can't that's the idea. it's in the best interest of the people who make money from the fossil fuel industry to keep us from thinking for ourselves so we don't question the reasons why we are still using such a noisy way of energy.

or maybe is not, maybe it's just a coincidence that fossil fuel makes transport and production processes very loud and annoying.

either way, in most cities you can see 60 cars transporting one person each, instead of one big car transporting 60 people. why, why is that? why do we do that? are we just plain selfish and we don't care about anything else that our own short term comfort? or we are victims of a system that led us to believe that's the right thing to do. and everyone else does it, so it's ok.

Ideas 2: Justice

Some months ago i set up as a top priority in my life to learn to be objective and always consider the big picture,  instead of my personal choices or preferences.

The bigger picture being the long term conservation, survival and well being of every person on this planet, the planet itself and other living beings on it.

And for that i had some choices to make decisions to take.

1: understanding: myself, other people, their motives and objectives.

2: detachment, let go of things and people that weight me down or put obstacles in my way. Specially those people who say "no, that wont happen/can't be done"

Sacrifices I needed to make, needed to sacrifice my customs, traditions, beliefs, and stop focusing on my own short term benefit and (try to) start caring about others as well, or at least being conscious when i don't and thinking why.

JUSTICE

I often state that there are no bad people in this world, we are all good-natured and the reason why some people kill, rape, steal and are corrupted is because of the environment around them and the ideas that have been forced into them. (this automatically takes all the guilt away from the individual and places it in an abstract environment, thus making it harder to find someone to blame for and making it easier to find a solution to those problems) [1]

adding that the penal and legal system are obsolete, and the eye for an eye concept of revenge or justice are outdated. And the only reason why we keep supporting them is because some people profit from them.

Why do I state that? Because crimes keep happening.

And I am of the idea that when there’s a problem, the solution is fixing the problem so it doesn’t happen again, and not just patching it up and seeing how long it can last.

And punishing a single individual or group of individuals is patching up the system and perpetrating the problem, instead of solving it.

So by not providing the people with the basic needs (food, housing, health) and providing them instead with factors that deters their mental and physical well being  (stress, drugs, pressure, competition) the government has forced them to commit crimes, and then found a way of forcing them into probably the most violent environment possible (prisons) to make sure the stay violent and commit crimes again when they get out, while at the same time making sure that other people keep committing the same crimes after them.

So when I talk about “justice” and laws with some people, the usually propose this scenario to me:

“what if someone tortures you, rapes and kills your family and friends and people you care about, wouldn’t you want some kind of revenge, justice, compensation, or them to be punished by the law?”

My quick answer is always: “of course not, because that wouldn’t solve anything, nor make me feel better, yes It may inflate my ego for a few days but I can do that in other ways (kissing the mirror, adding some cute hearts on my pictures, writing a blog) what’s done is done, now we have to make sure it doesn’t happen again!”   

I don’t mean the same person doesn’t commit any more crimes, but that no other person commits any crimes.

More than 90% of crimes are related to property, solve the scarcity and inequality problems, take private property out of the equation, give people what they need and what they want and they wont have to steal it. Then we get the violent crimes (rape, murder) which can be easily solved as well,. We weren’t born yesterday, we have a history of thousands of years to learn from and  we’ve spent centuries studying society and human behavior, we have thousands of sociologists, psychologists, psychiatrists and we have the resources needed to change things.

And then i need to make sure I actually believe what I say.

On the pro side: the system is not working, because crimes keep happening, so we gotta do something for them not to happen again.

On the con side: I was also raised to believe in “justice” that if someone does something bad they have to be punished. So if you want to swim against the current, you’re gonna have to learn to swim faster or better than the other fishes, otherwise you'll just get dragged along by the current.

How to swim a bit faster and get the advantage? 

By proposing something better, no one likes when someone comes along saying “this is wrong, this is not working” while at the same time not offering any solution.

By matching data and evidence and always providing proves of what you are saying.

By trying to see the bigger picture and understanding that what’s good for you now may not be good for the mayority in the long run.

By educating yourself, read, learn, experiment, test things out, and make sure you know what you’re talking about and more important, that you know how to explain it in a simple way that everyone can understand and relate to.

By being concise and placing yourself at the same level or even lower than the people you talk to/write to (I’m haven’t mastered that one yet) make them see you are same as them in the sense that you want to best  possible outcome with the fewer negative consequences as possible.

By being skeptic, always asking *why* and demanding proof of what is being said or proposed.

By working together. Competition doesn’t bring prosperity, cooperation does.

By being kind and compassionate, compassion is the key, the key to understanding each other and to succeed in finding common ground.

I myself fail on many of those points often, and im not nearly compassionate enough, but I do sincerely want to make things better and believe we can all reach a consensus on the one to stand together.

[1] http://www.thisiszen.com/2010/07/09/parable-of-the-poisoned-arrow/

understanding the old lady

i went to watch a documentary, the name is " my heart is not broken yet" it was about an old korean lady who was a comfort woman, a sex slave for the japanese army during the war.

and then she spent the last 10 years, and lots of money, filling and following a lawsuit against the japanese government, asking them to issue an official apology to her.

that's right, she didn't want monetary compensation, she didn't want the japanese or any other country to just get rid of their armies, stop the wars and live in peace, she didn't want to make sure what happened to her wont happen again to anyone else in the future.

 she just wanted an apology.

and she didn't want an apology from the soldiers or military officials that served during the war, but from the actual japanese government that little had to do with what happened 60 years ago.

and yet the japanese keep denying everything, changing the text books and censoring the history regarding nanjing, korea and SE asia.

and the japanese people believe it, because, you know that's what the government says..
same as the chinese believe that the tibetans are hostiles and whatever bullshit story the teach them about chairman mao
the north koreans believe their dictator is a hero or a god or whatever.
same as the israelians with the palestinians, the russians with the georgians, the americans with the middle easterns, they will always believe the official story (whatever b.s. the government says) just because they say it. yeah that's all the proof we need right now to believe something. we need the government to say it, that's it. same as before we needed the church to say it, and that was it. whatever they say we will believe and whatever they want us to do, we will do, because we are stupid and it's easier just to follow orders than to think for ourselves or stand up for what's right.

and in my case, growing up in argentina, in latinamerica, when i was there I've been conditioned to believe that the reason why i was poor and had no food it was because the americans owned all the big companies and controlled the economy there. and because the british stole some island, and because the chinese, koreans, and other latin americans came and take the jobs from us, and yeah, you know, the economy, the inflation, the corruption, the debt, the crisis,  WTF!

we are always blaming other people (or the circumstances) for our misery instead of taking responsibility for our actions.

and the korean women just wants an official apology..

let's say the japanese government will admit everything, apology and give money to everyone like the germans did. what would that change?

I think we should learn from our mistakes and make sure it doesn't happen again. what's the point of worrying about the past and regretting things we did or other people did to us?

and all the people who went to watch that documentary were all happy with the documentary and admiring the old lady.

this kind of things happen to me every day and make me feel like I'm all alone and no one understands me.

maybe im taking the wrong approach, and  I should try to understand them, instead of asking other people to understand me.

that's difficult, and I would have to accept he fact that i dont have the ultimate truth and other people have their own truths also.

maybe the apology would help and change things by making them understand that they made a mistake and they shouldnt kill, torture and rape people again.

and other countries will see what that the japanese took responsibility and wont make the same mistake.

well, probably not, but I should still try to understand others, instead of always thinking I am the only one who's right and I know everything.

i will try today. and maybe in a few years if i ever read this again it will remind me that i should try harder to understand everyone (including this old lady)